I am glad I could be helpful. I genuinely think that it would be a good thing if you would figure out for yourself why I made the changes I made. (Either that or I am too lazy to explain things myself. ) More learning happens when a student figures things out for herself rather than being "spoonfed" the answers.
Please remember that putting something down on paper (or virtual paper (that is, in a computer) is important, but that rewriting is just as important. When you rewrite a piece of writing you become a critic. You ask yourself, what should I take out; what should I change?