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  1. #1
    Choi is offline Newbie
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    Sep 2007
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    Smile Please correct my cover letter

    Please check my cover letter which is related to sales business position that wanted to enter some companys.

    882-46, Manchon3-dong
    Suseong-gu, Daegu
    Cellular : 010-4244-6208
    E-mail : EMAIL REMOVED - Send PM to This User Instead
    September 25, 2007

    Mr, Dae-Jung Kim
    Human Resources Director
    3M, Corporation
    273-506, song-dong,
    Chung-gu, Seoul

    Dear Mr, Dea-Jung Kim

    In response to your advertisement on September 25th, 2007 on the internet. If you are
    looking for a proper sales business man, I am suitable for the positon you mention. I
    have good interpersonal relationships and a team player.

    I studied Business Administration and Tourism Management at my university. While
    studying my major, I learnt a financial management, accounting, marketing, SCM and
    service mind. I worked as a intern in sevilla hotel from May to Aug, 2005. Through this
    job, I cultivated to develop an attitude how to take a order politely and what makes
    customer feel better. During this summer vacation, I and my friends were elected by
    Korea Internet Volunteers and then provided IT training course to the Zimbabwean in
    Africa. I was in charge of leader and English interpreter at that time. Iím sure that my
    experience and intern employment can contribute positively to your company.

    I would enjoy the opportunity to be part of your organization. I will contact you soon
    to schedule an interview. I would welcome the chance to talk with you about my qualific
    ation for the your position. Thank you for your time and consideration.
    Sincerely yours
    Sign
    Pil-Soo Choi

  2. #2
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
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      • Member Type:
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    Default Re: Please correct my cover letter

    Corrections in red.

    Quote Originally Posted by Choi View Post
    Please check my cover letter which is related to sales business position that wanted to enter some companys.
    Delete that wanted to enter some companys (sp).

    Quote Originally Posted by Choi View Post
    882-46, Manchon3-dong
    Suseong-gu, Daegu
    Cellular : 010-4244-6208
    E-mail : EMAIL REMOVED - Send PM to This User Instead
    September 25, 2007

    Mr, Dae-Jung Kim
    Human Resources Director
    3M, Corporation
    273-506, song-dong,
    Chung-gu, Seoul

    Dear Mr, Dea-Jung Kim

    This is in response to your advertisement on September 25th, 2007 on the internet. If you are looking for a proper sales business man, I am suitable for the positon you mention. I
    have good interpersonal relationships and am a team player.

    I studied Business Administration and Tourism Management at my university. While
    studying my major, I learnt a financial management, accounting, marketing, SCM and
    service mind. I worked as a intern in Sevilla hotel from May to Aug, 2005. Through this
    job, I learned how to take a order politely and what makes a customer feel better. During this summer vacation, I and my friends were elected by Korea Internet Volunteers and then provided IT training course to the Zimbabweans in Africa. I was in charge of leadership training and was an English interpreter at that time. Iím sure that my experience and intern employment can contribute positively to your company.

    I would enjoy the opportunity to be part of your organization. I will contact you soon
    to schedule an interview. I would welcome the chance to talk with you about my qualifications for the your position. Thank you for your time and consideration.


    Sincerely yours


    Signed



    Pil-Soo Choi

    I hope that helps.

    ~R

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