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  1. #1
    Miki19801030 is offline Newbie
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    Could you check a part of my resume?

    This is my a part of my resume.
    Could you check this?
    If you feel strange, please correct these sentence.
    I possess over 4years of experience in the IT Industry including:
    -Worked on a lot of projects as a developer. And I have experience developing web application systems and client server systems.
    -Developed a lot of web application systems. I can design software and coding computer language. I excel at web programming with java and the framework of struts. I can also develop web system with other computer languages.
    -Wrote documents for project members and clients. Documents for project members are for project management or detail of system.
    -Made testing cases. I can write testing cases that are suitable for the developing phase.
    -Testing software. I can test software with my back ground of knowledge of web development. I᦭ good at looking many bugs in various systems.

  2. #2
    Naamplao is offline Senior Member
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    Re: Could you check a part of my resume?

    Quote Originally Posted by Miki19801030 View Post
    This is my a part of my resume.
    Could you check this?
    If you feel strange, please correct these sentence.
    I possess over 4years of experience in the IT Industry including:
    -Worked on a lot of projects as a developer. And I have experience developing web application systems and client server systems.
    -Developed a lot of web application systems. I can design software and coding computer language. I excel at web programming with java and the framework of struts. I can also develop web system with other computer languages.
    -Wrote documents for project members and clients. Documents for project members are for project management or detail of system.
    -Made testing cases. I can write testing cases that are suitable for the developing phase.
    -Testing software. I can test software with my back ground of knowledge of web development. I᦭ good at looking many bugs in various systems.
    Resumes are business documents. Business documents are never written using the first person...always use the third person.

    You have a lot of good material here for a resume. I will rewrite one section to show you how I would compose your resume...you should try to follow this format.

    -Worked on a lot of projects as a developer. And I have experience developing web application systems and client server systems.
    -Developed a lot of web application systems. I can design software and coding computer language. I excel at web programming with java and the framework of struts. I can also develop web system with other computer languages.


    rewritten

    - As a software developer, created several applications for web application systems and client server systems using java and the framework of struts in addition to other computer languages such as [you should list the other languages here ]

    I am not familiar with this term - framework of struts - I assume it is correct.

    You should write in point form and try to condense your points into brief statements using so-called action words such as "created", "developed", "supervised" , etc.

    Most resumes should be no more than 2 pages long. Why? Because the first page will be read 100% of the time. The second page will be read only 50% of the time...a third page is read 25% of the time..............

    It is important that your good material appears on the first page. If they don't like your resume after reading the first page they won't read any further.

    I hope this helps you.

  3. #3
    Miki19801030 is offline Newbie
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    Re: Could you check a part of my resume?

    Quote Originally Posted by Naamplao View Post
    Resumes are business documents. Business documents are never written using the first person...always use the third person.

    You have a lot of good material here for a resume. I will rewrite one section to show you how I would compose your resume...you should try to follow this format.

    -Worked on a lot of projects as a developer. And I have experience developing web application systems and client server systems.
    -Developed a lot of web application systems. I can design software and coding computer language. I excel at web programming with java and the framework of struts. I can also develop web system with other computer languages.

    rewritten

    - As a software developer, created several applications for web application systems and client server systems using java and the framework of struts in addition to other computer languages such as [you should list the other languages here ]

    I am not familiar with this term - framework of struts - I assume it is correct.

    You should write in point form and try to condense your points into brief statements using so-called action words such as "created", "developed", "supervised" , etc.

    Most resumes should be no more than 2 pages long. Why? Because the first page will be read 100% of the time. The second page will be read only 50% of the time...a third page is read 25% of the time..............

    It is important that your good material appears on the first page. If they don't like your resume after reading the first page they won't read any further.

    I hope this helps you.

    Thank you so much. I didn’t know that I had better not use first person in business English. With this in mind, I changed my sentence. Could you check again?
    But, fifth sentence include first person. Because I really want to include that sentence. If it is not good, how can I write this sentence? Let me teach that.


    I possess over 4years of experience in the IT Industry including:
    • As a software developer, created several applications for web application systems and client server systems using java and the framework of struts
    • Wrote documents to share common perception about system detail and project management for leader and co-worker.
    • Wrote documents that are for client from about system design to testing.
    • Made test case that is suitable for the developing phase.
    • Testing software under my background of web developing. I am good at looking many bugs in various systems.

  4. #4
    Naamplao is offline Senior Member
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    Re: Could you check a part of my resume?

    Quote Originally Posted by Miki19801030 View Post
    Thank you so much. I didn’t know that I had better not use first person in business English. With this in mind, I changed my sentence. Could you check again?
    But, fifth sentence include first person. Because I really want to include that sentence. If it is not good, how can I write this sentence? Let me teach that.


    I possess over 4years of experience in the IT Industry including:
    • As a software developer, created several applications for web application systems and client server systems using java and the framework of struts
    • Wrote documents to share common perception about system detail and project management for leader and co-worker.
    • Wrote documents that are for client from about system design to testing.
    • Made test case that is suitable for the developing phase.
    • Testing software under my background of web developing. I am good at looking many bugs in various systems.
    I repeat....NO FIRST PERSON usage in the resume...You will be rejected because of it probably, in my opinion, since business documents are not written this way.

    I assume that you are also listing your work history and accomplishments with each company in another section of the resume.

    This section would be a summary of your skills.

    This discussion is becoming more of discussion on resume design rather than English correction. You can PM me if you wish to talk about your resume in detail.

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