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Thread: writing skills

  1. #1
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    writing skills

    Hello everyone,
    I am writing an essay and I am not sure if I am writing correctly. I have underlined the sentence that could have mistakes. I would be grateful if you could correct me (if you find others mistakes that I have not underlined, I would be grateful as well! )
    Thank you in advance

    "Lately, the rise of curiosity about celebrities’ private life has given birth to on-line gossip magazines that only deal with gossip to satisfy every readers’ interests. The so-called gossip magazines are mostly addressed to a feminine public, and they involve people of all ages. It is interesting to observe that women are attracted to celebrities’ private life since they are young and that they always want to be updated. This confirms the traditional conception that see the woman as the gossiper par excellence. It is essentially for this reason that on-line gossip magazines, most of which are the electronic reproductions of formed paper are so successful; in fact, besides being more complete than formed paper thanks to photo galleries and videos sections they are composed of, they are “published” every day and they give the latest news."

  2. #2
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Re: writing skills

    Quote Originally Posted by sweet kitten View Post
    Hello everyone,
    I am writing an essay and I am not sure if I am writing correctly. I have underlined the sentence that could have mistakes. I would be grateful if you could correct me (if you find others mistakes that I have not underlined, I would be grateful as well! )
    Thank you in advance

    Lately, the rise of curiosity about celebrities’ private life [multiple celebrities = more than one life] has given birth to on-line gossip magazines that only deal with gossip to satisfy every readers’ [every reader's OR all readers'] interests. The so-called [Why are they "so-called"?] gossip magazines are mostly addressed to a feminine public, and they involve people of all ages. It is interesting to observe that women are attracted to celebrities’ private life since they are young [Who are young? The women of the celebrities?]and that they always want to be updated. This confirms the traditional conception that see the woman as the gossiper par excellence. It is essentially for this reason that on-line gossip magazines, most of which are the electronic reproductions of formed paper [printed periodicals] are so successful; in fact, besides being more complete than formed paper thanks to the photo galleries and video sections they include, they are “published” every day and they give the latest news.
    .

  3. #3
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    Re: writing skills

    Thank you for correcting me, Anglika.
    "...since they are young"...I am referring to women that are interested in celebrities.

  4. #4
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Re: writing skills

    In that case, it would be clearer to say "...those women that/who are attracted..." "...tend to be/are generally young."

  5. #5
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    Re: writing skills

    I used "since" beacause I want to underline that those women are attracted since they are at an early stage in life

  6. #6
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Re: writing skills

    I appreciate that, but it is not clear as you have phrased it.

    If you say "Since they are young, women who read these magazines are/tend to be attracted to celebrities' private lives." it would be much clearer.

  7. #7
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    Re: writing skills

    Thank You again Anglika!!!

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