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Thread: my life

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    Default my life

    When I was young I was an aggressive and enthusiastic child. Everybody was equal in my childhood and I glowed with pride. I aggressively tried many things. I sometimes succeeded, and I sometimes failed, but I never felt small. I was the leader of my peer group and I had many friends.



    However, I found a shabby me as I advanced in years and I knew the world. Appearance, academic clique, financial ability and so on. Those things made me miserable. I was reluctant to give up such things. But I was feeling that those thoughts were wrong and I who clung to those things was disappointed in myself. And when I took a long look at myself, I found that I seriously lost confidence.


    So I tried to become a good person or person who is called a nice man by other people. I would like to be a good person to everyone. But I became a man who lacked backbone. Next I would like to be a loved person by everyone. But I had broken heart in full of my mind unlike smiling and bright outward appearance. Considerate things I did for other people made me look ludicrously. And the wrong thoughtful things took greedy away from me. And also I wished to be a sincere person. So I treated people truly but that return to me as my weak point.


    Suddenly, I thought. This was wrong. Obviously I was committing errors. I needed to find what I was doing wrong and what I was doing right. So I began to write a diary. I needed confidence. I needed passion. I thought the two will do. That way, I recovered myself through writing a diary.


    While I have written a diary, I learned the way I can take care of me, strengthening my will and set up my sense of values. So, if someone has the same agony and is standing at the crossroads of life, I don’t hesitate and will say them, “search for your self!”

  2. #2
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    Default Re: my life

    Quote Originally Posted by kumddadda View Post
    When I was young I was an aggressive and enthusiastic child. Everybody was equal in my childhood and I glowed with pride. I aggressively tried many things. I sometimes succeeded, and I sometimes failed, but I never felt small. I was the leader of my peer group and I had many friends.
    The word aggressive has definite negative connotations. I suggest spirited instead. In the second sentence, "Everybody was equal" doesn't really make sense to me. Perhaps: "I felt that I was the equal of anyone" would work better. (Or: "I felt that I was equal to anyone.")



    Quote Originally Posted by kumddadda View Post
    However, I found a shabby me as I advanced in years and I knew the world.


    Quote Originally Posted by kumddadda View Post
    Appearance, academic clique, financial ability and so on. Those things made me miserable.


    I would say:
    My appearance, academic cliques, and financial problems combined to make me miserable.
    However, that doesn't go well with the rest of the sentences in that paragraph.

    Quote Originally Posted by kumddadda View Post
    I was reluctant to give up such things. But I was feeling that those thoughts were wrong and I who clung to those things was disappointed in myself. And when I took a long look at myself, I found that I seriously lost confidence.


    Try:
    I was reluctant to give up such things. But I felt that those thoughts were wrong, and I was disappointed in myself. And when I took a long look at myself, I found that I seriously lost confidence.
    Last edited by RonBee; 21-Oct-2007 at 02:41.

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    Default Re: my life

    Quote Originally Posted by kumddadda View Post
    So I tried to become a good person or person who is called a nice man by other people. I would like to be a good person to everyone. But I became a man who lacked backbone. Next I would like to be a loved person by everyone. But I had broken heart in full of my mind unlike smiling and bright outward appearance. Considerate things I did for other people made me look ludicrously. And the wrong thoughtful things took greedy away from me. And also I wished to be a sincere person. So I treated people truly but that return to me as my weak point.

    Try:
    So I tried to become a good person--a person other people consider a nice man. I wanted to be a good person to everyone, but I became a man who lacked backbone. I wanted to be loved by everyone, but alth0ugh I was smiling on the outside, inside I was broken-hearted. Considerate things I did for other people made me look ludicrous. And also I wished to be a sincere person. So I treated people with sincerity, but that turned out to be my weak point.


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