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  1. #1
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    Awkward Phrasing?

    I was hoping you could answer a troubling question for me. I was recently looking the following SAT question:

    In addition to Hindus and Buddhists, the religion of Jainism developed within the ancient civilization of India.
    a In addition to Hindus and Buddhists,
    b As with Hinduism and Buddhism,
    c Hinduism, Buddhism, and also
    d Along with Hinduism and Buddhism,
    e Hindus and Buddhists, in addition to
    The task is:If you think the original phrasing produces a better sentence than any of the alternatives, select choice A; if not, select one of the other choices.
    In making your selection, follow the requirements of standard written English; that is, pay attention to grammar, choice of words, sentence construction, and punctuation. Your selection should result in the most effective sentence—clear and precise, without awkwardness or ambiguity.

    It seemed clear to me that the answer was D, as the only other plausible answer, B, seemed awkwardly worded or phrased. What is your explanation for the incorrectness of B? Is there any violation of grammar rules or simply the awkward phrasing of "As with" in that situation?

  2. #2
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Re: Awkward Phrasing?

    I think c is also a good choice. (If you like e you might as well keep it the way it is.)

    ~R

  3. #3
    Naamplao is offline Senior Member
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    Re: Awkward Phrasing?

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    I was hoping you could answer a troubling question for me. I was recently looking the following SAT question:

    In addition to Hindus and Buddhists, the religion of Jainism developed within the ancient civilization of India.
    a In addition to Hindus and Buddhists,
    b As with Hinduism and Buddhism,
    c Hinduism, Buddhism, and also
    d Along with Hinduism and Buddhism,
    e Hindus and Buddhists, in addition to
    The task is:If you think the original phrasing produces a better sentence than any of the alternatives, select choice A; if not, select one of the other choices.
    In making your selection, follow the requirements of standard written English; that is, pay attention to grammar, choice of words, sentence construction, and punctuation. Your selection should result in the most effective sentence—clear and precise, without awkwardness or ambiguity.

    It seemed clear to me that the answer was D, as the only other plausible answer, B, seemed awkwardly worded or phrased. What is your explanation for the incorrectness of B? Is there any violation of grammar rules or simply the awkward phrasing of "As with" in that situation?
    I approach these problems using the process of elimination.

    Step 1 Hindus and Buddhists are not the name of religions so any answer with these words is wrong, thus eliminating (a) and (e)

    Step 2 "Hinduism, Buddhism, and also the religion of Jainism....." is not parallel in its construction so that eliminates (c)

    Step 3 As with most multiple choice there are usually 2 seemingly close answers

    b As with Hinduism and Buddhism, the religion of Jainism developed within the ancient civilization of India.

    d Along with Hinduism and Buddhism, the religion of Jainism developed within the ancient civilization of India.

    As with begins an adverb clause which does not belong here....that is why it sounds awkward.

    Along with has a similar meaning as in addition to.

    d Along with Hinduism and Buddhism, the religion of Jainism developed within the ancient civilization of India.

    The correct answer is (d)

  4. #4
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    Re: Awkward Phrasing?

    If you want to be really picky, say:
    The religions of Hinduism, Buddhism and Jainism all developed within the ancient civilization of India.
    Of course, I decided not to use any of the given choices. I have given you another option. Which sentence is best?


  5. #5
    Naamplao is offline Senior Member
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    Re: Awkward Phrasing?

    Quote Originally Posted by RonBee View Post
    If you want to be really picky, say:
    The religions of Hinduism, Buddhism and Jainism all developed within the ancient civilization of India.
    Of course, I decided not to use any of the given choices. I have given you another option. Which sentence is best?

    Unfortunately for you Ron, the answers did not include "none of the above".

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