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    • Join Date: Oct 2007
    • Posts: 16
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    #1

    Please Check It For Me

    Have you ever been to Bahrain?No?
    Well, it's time to go to enjoy your time.

    Bahrain is a small country but a popular tourist destination.In Bahrain you can do alot of things.You can visit many historical places such as 'THE MUSEUM OF BAHRAIN' ,'THE FACTORY OF FIBER' and 'THE FACTORY OF CLAY'.

    For children, there are many entertainment places. For example, 'THE WATER GAREDN' which is a new garden with a lot of exciting water games. The 'KINGDOM OF CHILDREN ' , is also has various kind of games.Beaches are also lots and provided with games.

    So. if you want an entertaining and quite country, you should visit Bahrain .
    You will be not disapponited.


    CHECK IT FOR ME AND CRITICISE ME TO IMPROVE MY WRITING


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
    • Posts: 19,448
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    #2

    Re: Please Check It For Mehttp://www.usingenglish.com/forum/images/editor/menupop.gif

    Welcome to the forums.

    Quote Originally Posted by !SOSO! View Post
    Have you ever been to Bahrain? No?
    Well, it's time to go to enjoy your time. ..it's time you went and enjoyed it

    Bahrain is a small country but a popular tourist destination. In Bahrain you can do a lot of things.You can visit many historical places such as 'THE MUSEUM OF BAHRAIN' ,'THE FACTORY OF FIBER' and 'THE FACTORY OF CLAY'. [We would usually say "the Textile Factory and the Ceramics Factory"]

    For children, there are many entertainment places.[places of entertaiment] For example, 'THE WATER GARDEN', which is a new garden with a lot of exciting water games, and the 'KINGDOM OF CHILDREN ' , which also has various kind of games. Beaches are also lots and [There are lots of beaches,] provided with games.

    So if you want an entertaining and quiet country, you should visit Bahrain .
    You will be not disappointed.


    CHECK IT FOR ME AND CRITICISE ME TO IMPROVE MY WRITING
    Basically not at all bad - careful when typing and check your spellings.


    • Join Date: Oct 2007
    • Posts: 16
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    #3

    Re: Please Check It For Me

    HI,

    Anglika

    Thank you so much

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