Word 630. I am sorry it is not an autobiography, but I wrote something I really like. It is a letter for my father who passed away a very long time ago.Originally Posted by tdol
How are you? I know it is not the question to be asked. But I have something to say. Things I kept them buried in side me for ages waiting to be released. I hope you will be able to remember your lonely daughter whom you left a very long time ago.
I am sorry for not writing and for waiting these long years to say goodbye. I have been thinking of you since you have left me without saying any word fifteen years ago. I was still by that time a child who knew nothing of this life, not even what does it mean to never see you again to the end of my life. I am so sorry because it took me so long to understand that you are no longer existed; to get use not to wait you by the doorstep everyday to take me by your hug joyfully no matter of your tiredness; to persuade myself that those dead wires can no more hold your voice to ask me to be ready for a beautiful journey in the toys shop; to believe that the unfinished bed story will never has an end. That story which you have started it, but never have the chance to make the princess to marry her beloved. I have to persuade myself that those lovely fingers will not be able to play with my hair any more.
I am sorry for being too young to understand that you were dying and that the diabetes was taking all your energy. I am terribly sorry for asking you innocently to hold me on your shoulders, to run all over the house, and to annoy the neighbors. I am sorry because I kept asking you always to be the brave, strong, and loving father while you were not able to help yourself to love as strong as you wanted for me.
I wanted you always to excuse my childish dreams and soul. To excuse me for not being awake to hold your hand when your body did not help you to stand on your foot. For not being their when you were falling down dead. I am sorry father because you forced yourself to stand on your foot just to stop my pompous screams to play with me.
I am sorry because you were alone under the ground for all these years. Alone, and so far that no one could hear you, alone with the silence and the darkness. Please, forgive me for this loneliness. I am sorry because I could not remember any moment in my life when you were alive and I felt lonely; you were always there.
Nowadays, and while you are lying there I want you to know that you still with me. Your soul was always a candle lightening my life and forever it will be. I still feel every night your warm kiss on my forehead. I just understood belatedly that you were the candle, burning yourself to light my way, and to keep the darkness so far from our warm house.
Dear father, as you promised my mother to make me a good daughter once I am promising you now to keep up the good work. I promise you to be always the good daughter you have dreamt of and never to give up. Just wait me, I really miss you and I am waiting badly to lye next to you as we just used to once when we were together and I will ask you to complete the unfinished story. I will ask you to play those tricks again. More than that I will remain forever in your hug and we will never be parted.
Father, I do really miss you.