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  1. #21
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: Here is the story you asked about, RonBee.

    Quote Originally Posted by Latoof
    Latifa was not able to understand the concept of death. She has heard her mother weeping her sister once and later her two months old son. However, she could not figure out the catastrophe yet.
    • Latifah did not know what death was. She had heard her mother crying over the death of her sister and later her two-month old son. But she did not know the reason for it.




    Quote Originally Posted by Latoof
    The first time Latifa cried her father was seven years later when she was fourteen.
    • The first time Latifa cried over her father's death was seven years after her father died, when she was fourteen.

  2. #22
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    Default Re: Here is the story you asked about, RonBee.

    Quote Originally Posted by Latoof
    A student in her class experienced the same tragedy. She has lost three of her familyís member in a car accident. Latifa looked at her friend and wept her father to the end of the school day.
    You need to use past perfect in the first two sentences. Thus:
    • A student in her class had experienced the same tragedy. She had lost three members of her family in a car accident. Latifa looked at her friend and cried about her father until the end of the school day.


    Quote Originally Posted by Latoof
    From that day and on, Latifa began to miss her father whom she loved very much and whom she could not remember anything about him, not even his angelic face.
    • From that day on, Latifa felt the loss of her father, whom she had loved very much, although she could not remember anything about him, even his angelic face.


    What do you think?

    :)

  3. #23
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    Default Re: Here is the story you asked about, RonBee.

    Quote Originally Posted by Latoof
    At the recent time, Latifa focused on her studying in order to achieve the success, which she has dreamt off.
    It is hard for me to decide what tense you mean to put that sentence in. Also, you need to do a better job of connecting that sentence to the previous one (about Latifa's father). Perhaps:
    • At that time, Latifa decded to focus on her studies in order to achieve the success she had been dreaming of.

    What do you think?

    :)

    ("At the recent time" is not an English expression.)

    :)

  4. #24
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    Default Re: Here is the story you asked about, RonBee.

    Quote Originally Posted by Latoof
    After she had come from the library she met her friend Reem by the next class.
    That one is a little confusing, and it is not exactly idiomatic English. (A "from" almost always has to have a "to" connected to it. Also, you can meet somebody by a classroom but not by a class.) Perhaps:
    • After she left the library, she met her friend Reem just before their next class was about to start.


    Quote Originally Posted by Latoof
    It was Mr. Ronís listening class. Mr. Ron was about fifty years old. He was a British married teacher.
    How would you change "British married teacher" to make it idiomatic English?

    :)

  5. #25
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    Default Re: Here is the story you asked about, RonBee.

    How would you change "British married teacher" to make it idiomatic English?

    Can I say, British teacher only? I don't know how to say it in an idiomatic English.
    I am working now on what you have corrected. I will answer all your "what do you think" and your other questions when I will finish.
    You are doing a very nice work to me, and I don't want to watse it. I wonder how can you find a time to do this wonderful job.

  6. #26
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    Default Re: Here is the story you asked about, RonBee.

    How would you change "British married teacher" to make it idiomatic English?

    Can I say, British teacher only? I don't know how to say it in an idiomatic English.
    I am working now on what you have corrected. I will answer all your "what do you think" and your other questions when I will finish.
    You are doing a very nice work to me, and I don't want to watse it. I wonder how can you find a time to do this wonderful job.

  7. #27
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    Default Re: Here is the story you asked about, RonBee.

    Quote Originally Posted by Latoof
    How would you change "British married teacher" to make it idiomatic English?

    Can I say, British teacher only? I don't know how to say it in an idiomatic English.
    I am working now on what you have corrected. I will answer all your "what do you think" and your other questions when I will finish.
    You are doing a very nice work to me, and I don't want to watse it. I wonder how can you find a time to do this wonderful job.
    To help out, while Ron's away... :)

    It depends on the importance you want to place on married and British. For example, if being married is more important to the context than is being British, then I'd use this structure,

    1. He is a married teacher, and he's British.

    If, however, being British is more important to the context, then I'd use,

    2. He is a British teacher, and he's married.

    You could also give both adjectives equal weight of importance, like this,

    3a. He is a married, British teacher.
    (Don't forget the comma ",". It means, "and".)

    3b. He is a British, married teacher. (ungrammatical)
    ==> The problem with 3b. is the order of the adjectives. There's a "Holy Order", or at least that's what it's being called these days. 8)

    OTHERS
    4. He's married and he's British.
    5. He's British and he's married.

    :D

  8. #28
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    Default Re: Here is the story you asked about, RonBee.

    Quote Originally Posted by Latoof
    How would you change "British married teacher" to make it idiomatic English?

    Can I say, British teacher only? I don't know how to say it in an idiomatic English.
    I am working now on what you have corrected. I will answer all your "what do you think" and your other questions when I will finish.
    You are doing a very nice work to me, and I don't want to watse it. I wonder how can you find a time to do this wonderful job.
    To help out, while Ron's away... :)

    It depends on the importance you want to place on married and British. For example, if being married is more important to the context than is being British, then I'd use this structure,

    1. He is a married teacher, and he's British.

    If, however, being British is more important to the context, then I'd use,

    2. He is a British teacher, and he's married.

    You could also give both adjectives equal weight of importance, like this,

    3a. He is a married, British teacher.
    (Don't forget the comma ",". It means, "and".)

    3b. He is a British, married teacher. (ungrammatical)
    ==> The problem with 3b. is the order of the adjectives. There's a "Holy Order", or at least that's what it's being called these days. 8)

    OTHERS
    4. He's married and he's British.
    5. He's British and he's married.

    :D

  9. #29
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    Default Re: Here is the story you asked about, RonBee.

    Thank you,
    I think I will use this one:

    3a. He is a married, British teacher.
    I want to focus on the idea of being married. :wink:

  10. #30
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    Default Re: Here is the story you asked about, RonBee.

    Thank you,
    I think I will use this one:

    3a. He is a married, British teacher.
    I want to focus on the idea of being married. :wink:

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