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  1. #31
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    Default Re: Here is the story you asked about, RonBee.

    Quote Originally Posted by Latoof


    “I will go to the library, but I won’t be late. Ok, see you later” said Latifa to her friend Reem.
    Unfortunately, it is not clear what the connection is between going to the library and being late.

    I wanted to show how was Latifa careful not to be late of Ron’s classes.


    Quote Originally Posted by Latoof
    Latifa is studying English Language and Literature major in the university. Reem is her best friend.
    [That first sentence doesn't quite make it. Perhaps:
    • Latifah is studying English at the university. Her major is English Literature.



    Can I say:
    Latifa is studying English Language and Literature at the university.



    Quote Originally Posted by Latoof
    They are together since the beginning of their study as English major students.
    You need to decide that tense you want the narrative to be in--past or present? If it's past tense, say:
    • They had been together since the beginning of their studies as English majors.


    I would like to use the past tense.

  2. #32
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    Default Re: Here is the story you asked about, RonBee.

    Quote Originally Posted by Latoof


    “I will go to the library, but I won’t be late. Ok, see you later” said Latifa to her friend Reem.
    Unfortunately, it is not clear what the connection is between going to the library and being late.

    I wanted to show how was Latifa careful not to be late of Ron’s classes.


    Quote Originally Posted by Latoof
    Latifa is studying English Language and Literature major in the university. Reem is her best friend.
    [That first sentence doesn't quite make it. Perhaps:
    • Latifah is studying English at the university. Her major is English Literature.



    Can I say:
    Latifa is studying English Language and Literature at the university.



    Quote Originally Posted by Latoof
    They are together since the beginning of their study as English major students.
    You need to decide that tense you want the narrative to be in--past or present? If it's past tense, say:
    • They had been together since the beginning of their studies as English majors.


    I would like to use the past tense.

  3. #33
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    Default Re: Here is the story you asked about, RonBee.

    That's a little confusing. The first sentence doesn't indicate that Ms Mouza left the room. Perhaps:
    [list]Latifa was in math class when the administrator came and took Ms Mouza, Latifa's math teacher, out of the room for a private conversation.

    Yes, I meant to say that the teacher went outside the class. Your suggestion will make it clearer.


    Quote Originally Posted by Latoof
    Ms. Mouza looked sadly toward Latifa and she sat down next to her. “Latifa… I want to tell you something.” Latifa looked at Ms. Mouza’s face and asked her to correct the Math problem, which she has solved when Ms. Mouza was outside the class.
    That is somewhat of an odd response by Latifa. I would expect her to wait to hear what Ms Mouza had to say instead of telling her teacher about a math problem she had solved while the teacher was out of class.

    I wanted to emphasize Latifa’s response in order to show her understanding of her teacher’s saying.

  4. #34
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    Default Re: Here is the story you asked about, RonBee.

    That's a little confusing. The first sentence doesn't indicate that Ms Mouza left the room. Perhaps:
    [list]Latifa was in math class when the administrator came and took Ms Mouza, Latifa's math teacher, out of the room for a private conversation.

    Yes, I meant to say that the teacher went outside the class. Your suggestion will make it clearer.


    Quote Originally Posted by Latoof
    Ms. Mouza looked sadly toward Latifa and she sat down next to her. “Latifa… I want to tell you something.” Latifa looked at Ms. Mouza’s face and asked her to correct the Math problem, which she has solved when Ms. Mouza was outside the class.
    That is somewhat of an odd response by Latifa. I would expect her to wait to hear what Ms Mouza had to say instead of telling her teacher about a math problem she had solved while the teacher was out of class.

    I wanted to emphasize Latifa’s response in order to show her understanding of her teacher’s saying.

  5. #35
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    Default Re: Here is the story you asked about, RonBee.

    Say:
    • It took two hours for Ms Mouza to tell Latifa that her father was dead.

    Or:
    • It took two hours for Ms Mouza to tell Latifa that her father had died.


    What is the difference between these sentences?


    Quote Originally Posted by Latoof
    Ms. Mouza looked at Latifa’s face to see her reaction, but Latifa said, “Can you check my answer, please?”
    I would assume that Ms Mouza was looking at Latifa's face anyhow. How would you rephrase that to say pretty much the same thing but without "looked at"?

    Ms. Mouza tried to see Latifa’s reaction, …….

    Do you think Ms Mouza was surprised by Latifa's response?

    Yes I do. Because she spent those hours to avoid hurting Latifa's feelings.


    I don't think you need to mention again that Latifa is a girl. How would you rephrase "school blue uniform" so it is idiomatic English?

    I don’t know!

    Do you think the reader will wonder why Latifa's hair was covering her face?

    I wanted to give her a childish look in order to convey the image of her as a child to understand such idea.
    What do you think?

  6. #36
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    Default Re: Here is the story you asked about, RonBee.

    Say:
    • It took two hours for Ms Mouza to tell Latifa that her father was dead.

    Or:
    • It took two hours for Ms Mouza to tell Latifa that her father had died.


    What is the difference between these sentences?


    Quote Originally Posted by Latoof
    Ms. Mouza looked at Latifa’s face to see her reaction, but Latifa said, “Can you check my answer, please?”
    I would assume that Ms Mouza was looking at Latifa's face anyhow. How would you rephrase that to say pretty much the same thing but without "looked at"?

    Ms. Mouza tried to see Latifa’s reaction, …….

    Do you think Ms Mouza was surprised by Latifa's response?

    Yes I do. Because she spent those hours to avoid hurting Latifa's feelings.


    I don't think you need to mention again that Latifa is a girl. How would you rephrase "school blue uniform" so it is idiomatic English?

    I don’t know!

    Do you think the reader will wonder why Latifa's hair was covering her face?

    I wanted to give her a childish look in order to convey the image of her as a child to understand such idea.
    What do you think?

  7. #37
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    Default Re: Here is the story you asked about, RonBee.

    What do you think?
    That is simply wonderful. I think I had a problem in expressing the ideas in a good concise English, as one of my teacher has said.

  8. #38
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    Default Re: Here is the story you asked about, RonBee.

    What do you think?
    That is simply wonderful. I think I had a problem in expressing the ideas in a good concise English, as one of my teacher has said.

  9. #39
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    Default Re: Here is the story you asked about, RonBee.

    ("At the recent time" is not an English expression.)


    Can I say at the present time?

  10. #40
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    Default Re: Here is the story you asked about, RonBee.

    ("At the recent time" is not an English expression.)


    Can I say at the present time?

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