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  1. #1
    incognito_301 is offline Newbie
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    7
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    Can somebody check my business letter + help me get 100% on it?! ASAP

    Here it is:

    Dear Mr. [last name]


    You gave a presentation about censorship on Friday, November 16. I examined your presentation very carefully and I was curious to tell you about the weak and strong points of your presentation.

    Your presentation had a number of weaknesses. Firstly, the use of visual contents was not enough to win your audienceís attention. The only visual matter that was applied in your presentation was a limited use of pictures. To obtain your audienceís interest, you could have utilized interesting audio or video clips related to your topic. Secondly, the tone of your voice was extremely repetitive, rather than being attractive. It tired your viewers and as a result, you lost their attention yet again. Lastly, the volume of your voice was not high enough, so that everybody in the very back of the classroom could effortlessly hear. It interrupted the listenerís concentration on your presentation, and consequently, affected the quality of your performance.


    The presentation also included certain thoughtful aspects as well. For instance, the subject of your presentation was well chosen. That is because of its role in media that people are enjoying (?) in their daily lives. The other strong point in your presentation was that it started with a number of questions, which were answered throughout the presentation. This helped the audience to understand the main purpose of the presentation.
    Overall, your presentation was very educational and provided a wealth of information. It could have been improved, if the flaws have been given more thought before the presentation. I hope to hear more of your presentations in the future.


    Sincerely,




    [My first and last name]


    THANKS!!!
    Last edited by incognito_301; 18-Nov-2007 at 19:26.

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