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  1. #1
    thatsmygoal is offline Newbie
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    Arrow Please correct! Thanks.....

    Topic: What three changes could you make in your lifestyle to become better? Be specific. (within 80-100 words) I am a student. Therefore, I need to improve my health to study better. There are three solutions I should have to become healthier. Firstly, I will go on a balanced- diet. I need to eat more vegetables to keep fit. Secondly, I will take part in some outdoor activities such as playing sports, doing exercises. These activities can build muscle. Finally, I will take a short vacation after each semester. Because the pressure of the study makes me stressed, I need to relax. In conclusion, there are three changes could make my health become better. Please correct and give me compliment. Thanks a lot.........

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    Default Re: Please correct! Thanks.....

    Topic: What three changes could you make in your lifestyle to become better? Be specific. (within 80-100 words)

    I am a student. Therefore, I need to improve my health to study better.
    Join these two sentences together. You don't need a full stop.
    As I am a student, I need to improve my health to study better.

    There are three solutions I should have to become healthier.
    Vocabulary: 'solutions' is not the right word in this context -
    Grammar: you don't need should and have to! One is enough!
    Instead, you could try,

    There are three main things I should do, in order to become healthier.

    Firstly, I will go on a balanced diet. I need to eat more vegetables to keep fit. Secondly, I will take part in some outdoor activities such as playing sports, doing exercises. These activities can build muscle.
    The question asked you to talk about things you could do, so use a conditional form, not 'will' here.

    Finally, I will take a short vacation after each semester. Because the pressure of the study makes me stressed, I need to relax. In conclusion, there are three changes could make my health become better.

    This conclusion seems a bit weak - can you think of a better way to finish the paragraph.



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