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  1. #1
    lee_vlem is offline Newbie
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    Nov 2007
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    Smile Please help my writing

    Hello, this little story is made up by the following phases:

    be determined by  
    have something to do with  
    be central to sth.   
    in contrast   
    due to  
    be deprived of

    Please help me correct it. Thanks a million!
    The story is :


    This terrible cosequence is due to the bad weather. When will rain is determined by the nature. Abudant rainfail is central to crops to grow on nicely. In contrast, if there is no regual precipitation, farmers life will be took a bad knock. The farmers were deprived of all the rights by harsh policy. And this is the worse thing can even destroy their life completely.

  2. #2
    lee_vlem is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Please help my writing

    Why nobody can help me?

  3. #3
    aggelos is offline Junior Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • Greek
      • Home Country:
      • Greece
      • Current Location:
      • Greece
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    84
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    Default Re: Please help my writing

    Corrections in bold.
    Words in red: omit (leave out).

    This terrible consequence is due to the* bad weather. When it will rain/it rains is determined by the nature. Abudant rainfall is central to crops to grow on nicely. In contrast, if there is no regular precipitation, farmers' life will be take a bad knock. The farmers were deprived of all their rights by harsh policy. And this is the worst thing, which can even destroy their lives completely.

    *the: if you mean some known period of bad weather, for example the bad weather that destroyed this year's crops, then use 'the'. If you mean bad weather in general, don't use anything.

    You write well, but you need to work on a few things before you can write much better.

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