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  1. #1
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    My situation talk writing need corrections and suggestions

    Situation 1. at the cinema.

    This is the situation Mika is at the cinema with two of his friends and they already taken (the or no particle) tickets online and but.. they have to get
    back /redeem/pick up)the tickets from (the/a) self-ticket machine.

    Mika: Did you book the tickets of Harry porter3 that we mentioned?

    Jhon: Sure. I thought it must have been already booked up, you know this movie is so popular and but I found a few tickets left/ it turned out there were (the) tickets left. I made it!

    Clair: Well-done, fellow! anyway I am quite thirsty. Could we have cups of coke?

    Jhon. Yes, but we need to (get/ back/redeam/pick up) the tickets from a ticket machine. where is the ticket machine?

    Mike: I am (looking around/look about)the cinema(or theater). oh there it is!

    Clair: where?

    Jhon: oh I found it too! beside the ticket desk! Hurry. the movie starts 10 minutes later(we have only ten minites left before it starts)

    Mike: I am going!!

    and three of them runs to the machine and take the tickets from the machine.





    This is what I wrote for practicing and I need your corrections and suggestions.
    help me nn

    Artical and preposition are the most difficult concepts of(in) English grammar for me to understand.

  2. #2
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    Re: My situation talk writing need corrections and suggestions

    Situation 1. At the cinema.

    This is the situation: Mika is at the cinema with two of his friends and they have already bought tickets online but... they have got to redeem the tickets from a self-ticketing machine.
    I'm not sure what those machines are called. Perhaps it could be 'a ticket dispenser/ a ticketing machine' - Anyone else bought tickets this way and know the correct term??
    'a' is used before this 'self-ticketing machine' because this is the first time we hear about it/you mention it. From now on in your story, it would be "the self-ticketing machine". HOWEVER, if there are quite a few of these machines, say, in the theatre lobby, then we would still use "a" because you haven't picked out a specific machine yet.

    Mika: Did you book the tickets for Harry Potter 3 as/like we arranged/discussed/planned?

    John: Sure. I thought it might have been (already-move to end of sentence) sold out already], you know this movie is so popular/you know how popular this movie is, but I found a few tickets left/ it turned out there were these/a few tickets left.(either expression is fine) I was lucky.

    Clair: Well-done, fellow!
    sorry, googlegoogle, but this sounds like something out of a 19th century English novel, a 1930's Boys' Own Adventure Stories book, or any of Enid Blyton's Famous Five or Mystery of...books! lol

    Clair: Great. Anyway, I'd like a drink. What about getting some Coke?

    John. OK,(or Right.) but we (still) need to get the tickets from the machine.
    You've already named the "self-ticketing machine", so just 'machine' is fine here. If there is only one machine in the lobby, then "the", if more than one, then, 'from a machine'.
    Where is the ticket machine?

    The sentence is fine grammatically, but not quite what one friend would say to another in this situation. eg
    'Can you see it/can you see one (if more than one)?'

    Mike: I'm looking/ I'm trying to see one. Oh, there it is!/ Oh, there's one!


    Clair: Where?

    Jhon:Oh, I see it. Beside the ticket desk! Hurry up. The movie starts in ten minutes.

    Mike: I'm going!! or I'm getting it ('it' here being used =getting on with doing it, getting the tickets)

    and the three of them run to the machine and get the tickets (from the machine.-omit)


    This is what I wrote for practice, and I'd like your corrections and suggestions.
    Please help.

    Articles and prepositions are the most difficult concepts in English grammar for me to understand.


    Don't let the fact that there seem to be a lot of changes discourage you. THIS WAS EXCELLENT. I have taken the time to show you the way native speakers talk to each other, because it seems you are learning very quickly!
    I have to go out, but will proof this more thoroughly when I get back, so if there are grammatical errors, juggling between what you have written and my reframing the text...)
    I'll also add when we use, sold out, booked up, booked out.
    Last edited by David L.; 22-Dec-2007 at 12:29.

  3. #3
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    Re: My situation talk writing need corrections and suggestions

    Situation 1. At the cinema.

    This is the situation: Mika is at the cinema with two of his friends and they have already bought tickets online but... they have got to redeem the tickets from a self-ticketing machine.

    You choose 'redeem' for the sentence. but can I use 'get back/get/pick up/' in this situation?
    As u know it is the situation. they have booked the tickets and try to get their booked tickets (in my country, we usually say 'we book the tickets for airplane,concert,movie at the future specific time, and get the tickets from a ticket machine, the location where it happens.)



    Mika: Did you book the tickets for Harry Potter 3 as/like we arranged/discussed/planned?


    You correct "Did you book the tickets of Harry porter3 that we~" into
    "Did you book the tickets for harry potter 3 as/like"

    this is a book and she bought the book on Amazon-> this is the book that she bought on Amazon

    following the lead, I made the above original sentence .
    may I use 'that' instead of like or as? and like or as doesnt make sense to me.
    please clarify the concept for me.


    John: Sure. I thought it might have been (already-move to end of sentence) sold out already], you know this movie is so popular/you know how popular this movie is, but I found a few tickets left/ it turned out there were these/a few tickets left.(either expression is fine) I was lucky.

    the reason why I have used 'must' is that this movie is so popular and Mike is firmly sure that the movie tickets are sold out online. Might does make sense to me. but in this case as I have explained, could I use 'must'? or in spoken english, it is impossible?

    'you know this movie is so popular' is the unusual usage of spoken english?

    and it turned out there were these tickets<- why not 'the' but 'these'?


    Clair: Well-done, fellow!
    sorry, googlegoogle, but this sounds like something out of a 19th century English novel, a 1930's Boys' Own Adventure Stories book, or any of Enid Blyton's Famous Five or Mystery of...books! lol

    The Lord of the Rings, one of my favorite movies taught me the word ' fellow'lol
    I have looked up a dictionary it reads fellow is old-fashioned lol
    but well-done is modern, right?

    Clair: Great. Anyway, I'd like a drink. What about getting some Coke?

    what about getting some coke?<-can I replace some coke as a cup of coke, cups of coke ? as u have mentioned, I would use 'some coke in spoken english.

    John. OK,(or Right.) but we (still) need to get the tickets from the machine.
    You've already named the "self-ticketing machine", so just 'machine' is fine here. If there is only one machine in the lobby, then "the", if more than one, then, 'from a machine'.

    Thanks for ur detailed explanation in advance. but I have one more question. as u can see from the below sentence, They dont know where the machine or machines are.
    in that case I have to omit any article?


    Where is the ticket machine?

    The sentence is fine grammatically, but not quite what one friend would say to another in this situation. eg

    oh... he is just talking to two of them

    'Can you see it/can you see one (if more than one)?'

    Mike: I'm looking/ I'm trying to see one. Oh, there it is!/ Oh, there's one!

    As u mentioned above
    there it is<- when only one machine is there
    there is one < when more than one machine are there.
    do I fully understand what you are saying?


    Clair: Where?

    Jhon:Oh, I see it. Beside the ticket desk! Hurry up. The movie starts in ten minutes.

    why not later?

    Mike: I'm going!! or I'm getting it ('it' here being used =getting on with doing it, getting the tickets)


    and the three of them run to the machine and get the tickets (from the machine.-omit)


    This is what I wrote for practice, and I'd like your corrections and suggestions.
    Please help.

    Articles and prepositions are the most difficult concepts in English grammar for me to understand.

    Don't let the fact that there seem to be a lot of changes discourage you. THIS WAS EXCELLENT. I have taken the time to show you the way native speakers talk to each other, because it seems you are learning very quickly!
    I have to go out, but will proof this more thoroughly when I get back, so if there are grammatical errors, juggling between what you have written and my reframing the text...

    juggling? what does juggling mean in the sentence?

    I'll also add when we use, sold out, booked up, booked out

    Ohh......hhhhhhhhhh I cant wait!!!lol



    I am not disheatened by a buch of your corrections and suggestions.
    I am a little worried that I could irritate you with so many questions.
    and I am soooooooo much impressed by your detailed explanations and everything!
    thanks you so much for your time and kindness.

  4. #4
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    Re: My situation talk writing need corrections and suggestions

    You choose 'redeem' for the sentence. but can I use 'get back/get/pick up/' in this situation?
    As u know it is the situation. they have booked the tickets and try to get their booked tickets (in my country, we usually say 'we book the tickets for airplane,concert,movie at the future specific time, and get the tickets from a ticket machine, the location where it happens.)

    How do these machines work? Do you type in a number or something? How does it know which/how many tickets to give you? 'Redeem' means you hand over some coupon and exchange it for something. Even though 'redeem' is such a good word (lol) and I was impressed that you used it, I hadn't thought through the implications of the actual process of your 'getting' these tickets. So, 'get' (not 'buy' since the tickets are already paid for online) is one possibility. I would not say, 'pick up' the tickets, since it doesn't sound as if they are already there, waiting for you (as they would be if you had booked online and the tickets were being held at the box office for collection.

    this is a book and she bought the book on Amazon-> this is the book that she bought on Amazon

    following the lead, I made the above original sentence .
    may I use 'that' instead of like or as? and like or as doesnt make sense to me.
    please clarify the concept for me.

    The problem was, you had used the word 'mentioned'. 'mentioned' means that something is said briefly, quickly, in passing - it is not really important to the main conversation. But this outing to the movies was all planned, for Jhon or John to buy the tickets online. Why else would Mike be asking, did you buy them? When I changed it, I then could not say, "did you book ...that we planned." It was 'as we planned, as we agreed, as we arranged' - or using the more colloquial 'like'
    this is a book and she bought the book on Amazon-> this is the book that she bought on Amazon
    Here, 'that' is correct. 'as/like' actually indicate that a comparison is going on. A plan was made. Mike will buy tickets. Now, did Mike follow through with the plan (one possibility) or not (the second possibility). "Did you buy the tickets as/like we arranged(first possibility), or did you not have time? (second possible thing that could have happened)."

    this is the book that she bought on Amazon - there is no comparison going on, no two possibilities.

    the reason why I have used 'must' is that this movie is so popular and Mike is firmly sure that the movie tickets are sold out online. Might does make sense to me. but in this case as I have explained, could I use 'must'? or in spoken english, it is impossible?
    DEFINITELY you can use it. It just goes to highlight our different ways of seeing this situation, and how the choice of word reflects the meaning of the writer. I was thinking/writing from the point of view, it was possible they could be sold out but because Mike had been able to get tickets with no apparent trouble, I thought it 'possibly sold out but more probable he'll get tickets', hence, 'might'. You are absolutely right, that if in your mind, you were thinking it was highly unlikely any tickets would be available, 'must' is the word. The other point is, in reading, we don't have the speaker's tone of voice. Now - if the 'must' was stressed : "This movie is so popular, I was sure it must be sold out!", it immediately conveys the speaker's conviction and that he is surprised to be able to get tickets.


    'you know this movie is so popular' is the unusual usage of spoken english?

    Do you mean 'usual' or do you mean 'unusual'? I didn't change it because it's fine, but perhaps, a more common way of saying it would be, 'you know how popular this movie is'.

    and it turned out there were these tickets<- why not 'the' but 'these'?
    You had written: it turned out there were (the) tickets left.
    'there were tickets left' would have been OK. However, that makes it sound like there was no trouble in getting tickets - almost as if there were plenty of tickets still available. I did not think that was your meaning. As well, Mike is now referring to our tickets, these tickets, the ones that we bought online.
    Imagine this conversation:
    She :Which tickets?
    He: These tickets, these here in my hand.
    She: Oh, you mean the tickets that Mike bought for us online."

    but well-done is modern, right?
    Yes, it's 'modern' in the sense that you will hear it said in the present day, but be careful - it can sound patronizing if said to the wrong person. A teacher will say it of the academic performance of a child, or of some achievement at a school sports day. I can imagine (I may be wrong) that some middle and upper class English gentry would still say this as, say, a cricketer comes off the field after batting. But no self-respecting teenager would ever utter the words, nor really would anyone older than that in usual conversation: people would be more likely to say something like, that's great! or, Good for you!
    or (in Australia), "Good onya, mate!

    As u mentioned :
    there it is<- when only one machine is there
    there's one < when there is more than one machine
    do I fully understand what you are saying?

    Yes

    Jhon:Oh, I see it. Beside the ticket desk! Hurry up. The movie starts in ten minutes.
    why not 'later'?
    The line would then be, "Hurry up. The movie starts ten minutes later." ( later than what? Were they due to start the movie at 8 pm, but they are now not starting it till 8.10 pm? "The movie was supposed to start at 8 pm but they are starting it 10 minutes later because a lot of people are still queueing to buy tickets, so we have plenty of time."

    The meaning you wish to convey is that it is 7.50 pm (say) and that the movie starts in 10 minutes, at 8 pm.

    juggling? what does juggling mean in the sentence?
    Juggling, as with circus performers, means continuously toss into the air and catch (a number of objects) so as to keep at least one in the air while handling the others. What I often have to do is keep in mind what the person has written; think up several alternatives that meet the context of what is being said; try to match the tense that the person intends; and as I change sentences around, using part of the sentence given, and part of my own, AND being busy typing it all as well, I have to try to make sure I don't confuse the grammar as I put the two pieces together. That's a lot of mental juggling of all the words and ideas!!!!

    You book tickets for a show, a table at a restaurant.
    I ring a doctor or dentist's receptionist to make an appointment, She tells me, the doctor is booked up till next Tuesday. I can fit you in on the Wednesday. ('the' Wednesday, because she is specifying, the Wednesday that comes the day after Tuesday. (If somebody said, I can fit you in on a Wednesday, that would mean any Wednesday from now on, starting with next Wednesday.)
    A Broadway show can be booked out weeks and months in advance. But each individual performance is said to be sold out.
    I NEED A BREAK AFTER ALL THIS lol. When I have recovered, we need to talk more about that word 'fully' as in 'fully understand' . In the meantime, it is enough to say, 'I understand", "I understand now."
    Last edited by David L.; 22-Dec-2007 at 18:08.

  5. #5
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    Re: My situation talk writing need corrections and suggestions

    How do these machines work? Do you type in a number or something? How does it know which/how many tickets to give you?

    It works as you buy movie tickets online by credit card, got (the) numbers for tickets, write (the/these) numbers down or print it out- it is called cyber ticket, go to the cinema, type the numbers on a ticketing-machine and finally you got your real paper tickets!.

    to make sure, 'Redeem' and 'get' could be used in this situation but not 'get back' or 'pick up', right?



    Do you mean 'usual' or do you mean 'unusual'?

    I meant 'unusual'





    You had written: it turned out there were (the) tickets left.
    'there were tickets left' would have been OK. However, that makes it sound like there was no trouble in getting tickets - almost as if there were plenty of tickets still available. I did not think that was your meaning. As well, Mike is now referring to our tickets, these tickets, the ones that we bought online.
    Imagine this conversation:


    As I mentioned before, article is the most difficult concept of all fpr me.
    you got your point across to me, but I am stilll confused between the, these.

    this is the non-corrected original sentence
    Mika: Did you book the tickets of Harry porter3 that we mentioned?

    Jhon: Sure. I thought it must have been already booked up, you know this movie is so popular and but I found a few tickets left/ it turned out there were (the) tickets left. I made it!


    Mika booked the tickets for Harry porter3, the tickets are once mentioned, so we all know about the tickets but they still doesnt get the tickets from a machine, so phisically they dont get any. and Jhon is indicating that the tickets, harry potter tickets, their Harry potter tickets...
    so I thought it would be 'the'.
    it is so hard to decide what article to put in the sentence.
    The is gramatically wrong?

    we need to talk more about that word 'fully' as in 'fully understand' . In the meantime, it is enough to say, 'I understand", "I understand now."
    -> lol thanks in advance.



    thanks for your energies on helping me! such a great teacher!
    with your help, my english get better and better.


  6. #6
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    Re: My situation talk writing need corrections and suggestions

    so I thought it would be 'the'.
    it is so hard to decide what article to put in the sentence.
    'The' is gramatically wrong?


    Look at this:
    "Dogs tend to wander all over the place. A dog wandered into my back yard yesterday and started digging up my lawn, looking for bones. I shouted at it trying to scare it away but the dog wouldn't leave.
    "dogs` is general, I'm talking about 'dogs'.
    "A dog" = first mention of a particular dog among all the dogs in the world.
    'but the dog' = second mention and now referring to that particular dog, the one that wandered into my yard.

    See how it happens in this conversation also:
    Customer (ringing): Are there (any) tickets still available for HP3 tonight please? -no 'a', no' the' before tickets, because talking general about 'tickets for the movie'

    Box Office: There are a few still available.
    "a" is used because this is the first mention of more specific tickets - tickets that are available as opposed to tickets already sold.

    He: Would you be able to hold them for me? I could pick up and pay for the tickets when we get to the cinema tonight.
    'the' because now referring again to the tickets mentioned earlier, the ones referred to then as "a few still available" and which are now the tickets specifically to be put aside for him.

    She: Sir. You have to understand that tickets for this movie are in great demand. The few tickets we do still have will probably sell in the next 15 minutes. We would require pre-payment if we were to hold them for you. You could pay by credit card over the phone.
    'understand that tickets' :No use of article, because she is referring to tickets for this movie in general, tickets for that night, next week, and her experience of how tickets have sold out since the movie opened.
    'the few tickets' : 'the' because we are continuing to talk about specific tickets, the few available that he wants her to hold for him.
    Last edited by David L.; 23-Dec-2007 at 12:30.

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