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  1. #1
    darren Guest

    Default Help needed to edit my translation

    (1) Nowadays, almost everything that people are using is made rapidly by power machinery. People in ancient and medieval times did not have such machine-made products. They took long time that bored them to finish simple handwork. At that time, the energy or power for labor were dependent on one's or animals' muscles. Industrial revolution was the name given because not only did it manufactured machinery but also bring changes in people's life styles.

    2) Among the changes brought by industrial revolution, the most significant ones were that
    a) the invention of machinery doing handwork
    b) the use of vapor and later other forms of powers took place of human's and animals' muscles
    c) the adoption of system called factory

    3) If the effects of industrial revolution were to be deprived from this world, we almost could not imagine what kind of world it would become. Lights, cars, aeroplanes, telephones, radios as well as televisions would disappear. Besides, most of the plentiful products on the shelves at department stores would also vanish. Those kids from poor families could no longer go to school. Instead, they would have to help out either at farm or at home. Long time ago before the invention of machinery, not only adults' labor but also that of small kids' were required to cover the needs such as food, clothing and shelter. ( here, I'd like to rephrase like this: Long time ago before the invention of machinery, both adults and small kids's labor were required to maintain the basic needs such as food, clothing and shelter. Do you think its meaning differs from the original one?)

    You help is much appreciated.
    have a nice day

  2. #2
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default

    l1- I'd say that 'people use'
    l2 they took a long time (also, did it necessarily bore them)
    l4 The Industrial Revolution... not only did it manufacture


    2)Among the changes brought by industrial revolution, the most significant ones were:


    3) If this world were to be deprived of the effects of industrial revolution we could scarcely imagine what kind of world it would become

    on the shelves in department stores

    Long ago, before the invention of machinery, both adults' and small kids' labor was required to maintain the basic needs such as food, clothing and shelter.

    Does this help? I'm afraid I've been away for a few days and just got back very tired, so I'm doing a quick post before bed.

  3. #3
    darren Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by tdol
    l1- I'd say that 'people use'
    l2 they took a long time (also, did it necessarily bore them)
    l4 The Industrial Revolution... not only did it manufacture


    2)Among the changes brought by industrial revolution, the most significant ones were:


    3) If this world were to be deprived of the effects of industrial revolution we could scarcely imagine what kind of world it would become

    on the shelves in department stores

    Long ago, before the invention of machinery, both adults' and small kids' labor was required to maintain the basic needs such as food, clothing and shelter.

    Does this help? I'm afraid I've been away for a few days and just got back very tired, so I'm doing a quick post before bed.

    Thanks Tdol. I really appreciate your help. By the way, let me ask you a few more questions based on your correction:
    2) what do you mean here? especially the sentence in bracket? how to put it properly?
    they took a long time (also, did it necessarily bore them)

    3) on the shelves in department stores
    Why is 'in' here instead 'at'? How to tell when to use in and at ?
    Last but not least,
    Long ago, before the invention of machinery, both adults' and small kids' labor was required to maintain the basic needs such as food, clothing and shelter.
    Why do you use 'was' here instead of ' were'? I think we should use plural when the sentence specified ' both adults and small kids'...?
    yeah, one more question, how do you feel about this sentence: the energy or power was dependent on human or animals' muscles? Does it make any sense to you?
    Thanks in advance
    darren :D

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