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  1. #1
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    Smile Mysteries in our life

    Please help me with my writing. Please give me some advice to make this better. Thanks

    Mysteries in our life

    I have observed...

    that in sundry times and unending generations that man has tread the earth, the deepness of his understanding of the world has grown to a great deal. Ancient secrets were revealed by his restless search for understanding of his environment and of the fulfillment of his life. He's spent enormous time on research. He's glued himself to his seat and has stuck his nose in his books. The more he knew the more voraciously he craved to know. For the more secrets he has uncovered, the more mysteries have crept into his mind, and still awaiting to be unearthed. Thus, man has become a restless, insatiable being.

    I have observed...

    that though man grew intensely in knowledge, perpetual problems still remain unresolved. Mysteries continued to be hidden from him. And however hard he bends over backwards, they remain unknowable. One of these is man's search for absolute happiness, i.e. joy that is not skin deep. He poured out every strength to attain this but nothing seems to work. He searched for money, and acquired it, but they're of no help to him. He searched for friends and company, but they all come and go. He searched for a perfect spouse but no one seems to meet the standard. He worked and he played, and watched all TV shows. He crossed every sea, and traced every valley. He came back home - unhappy. All to him now seems momentary.

    I have observed...

    and not only me; Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, saw the futility of man's existence. There is nothing in store for man's life per se. He's like travelling in an unfamiliar road to nothingness. For in the immense knowledge he had gained, he has neglected the rudiments of true living given him by his Creator. Only with a purpose can man have joy, and only his Creator can truly reward him with joy, unspeakable and full of glory(1 Pet. 1:8). I think that man should go back to his seat, clean up his desk and start reading the book his Creator handed down to him. Solomon also declared, ?Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.? There is no other joy but for man to accomplish what he truly is created for.

  2. #2
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    Re: Mysteries in our life

    (I hope I did not change your meaning... I think this reads a bit better)
    Carl

    Mysteries in our life

    I have observed...

    that throughout the time that man has tread the earth, the deepness of his understanding of the world has grown a great deal. Ancient secrets have been revealed by his restless search to understand his environment and meaning of his life. He's spent an enormous amount of time on research. He's glued himself to his seat and has stuck his nose into his books. The more he learns the more voraciously he craves to know. The more secrets he uncovers, the more the mysteries creep into his mind still awaiting to be solved. Thus, man is a restless, insatiable being.

    I have observed...

    that though man grows constantly in knowledge, perpetual problems still remain unresolved. The answers to many mysteries continue to be elude him. However hard works to understand, many mysteries remain unknown. One of these is man's search for absolute happiness, joy that is not skin deep but perpetual and true. He pours out every strength to attain happiness but nothing seems to work. He searches for money, and acquires it, but it is of no help to him. He searches for friends and company, but they all come and go. He searches for a perfect spouse but no one seems to meet the standard. He works and he plays, and watches all the TV shows. He has crossed every sea, and traced every valley. He comes back home - unhappy. All to him now seems momentary.

    I have observed...

    and not only me; Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, saw the futility of man's existence. There is nothing in store for man's life per se. He's like traveling in an unfamiliar road to nothingness. For in the immense knowledge he has gained, he has neglected the rudiments of true living given him by his Creator. Only with a purpose can man have joy, and only his Creator can truly reward him with joy, unspeakable and full of glory (1 Pet. 1:8). I think that man should go back to his seat, clean up his desk and start reading the book his Creator handed down to him. Solomon also declared, "Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man."

    There is no greater joy for man then to accomplish the purpose for which he was truly created.

  3. #3
    blouen's Avatar
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    Re: Mysteries in our life

    Quote Originally Posted by Hi_there_Carl View Post
    (I hope I did not change your meaning... I think this reads a bit better)
    Carl

    Mysteries in our life

    I have observed...

    that throughout the time that man has tread the earth, the deepness of his understanding of the world has grown a great deal. Ancient secrets have been revealed by his restless search to understand his environment and meaning of his life. He's spent an enormous amount of time on research. He's glued himself to his seat and has stuck his nose into his books. The more he learns the more voraciously he craves to know. The more secrets he uncovers, the more the mysteries creep into his mind still awaiting to be solved. Thus, man is a restless, insatiable being.

    I have observed...

    that though man grows constantly in knowledge, perpetual problems still remain unresolved. The answers to many mysteries continue to be elude him. However hard works to understand, many mysteries remain unknown. One of these is man's search for absolute happiness, joy that is not skin deep but perpetual and true. He pours out every strength to attain happiness but nothing seems to work. He searches for money, and acquires it, but it is of no help to him. He searches for friends and company, but they all come and go. He searches for a perfect spouse but no one seems to meet the standard. He works and he plays, and watches all the TV shows. He has crossed every sea, and traced every valley. He comes back home - unhappy. All to him now seems momentary.

    I have observed...

    and not only me; Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, saw the futility of man's existence. There is nothing in store for man's life per se. He's like traveling in an unfamiliar road to nothingness. For in the immense knowledge he has gained, he has neglected the rudiments of true living given him by his Creator. Only with a purpose can man have joy, and only his Creator can truly reward him with joy, unspeakable and full of glory (1 Pet. 1:8). I think that man should go back to his seat, clean up his desk and start reading the book his Creator handed down to him. Solomon also declared, "Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man."

    There is no greater joy for man then to accomplish the purpose for which he was truly created.
    Thanks a lot Carl. Not only did you make it read it better, I learned some new words too. I have some questions though....

    * solved - can't I use 'unearth' there. It doesn't seem natural to me too, but could you tell me why.

    * man is a restless - If I was thinking about his 'becoming' something he was not before, would this apply?

    * man grows constantly in knowledge - What if I'm thinking of the "greatness/degree" of what he's learned? I used "intensely" in my original writing, doesn't it fit the sentence well?

    * continue to be elude him - I think you mean " continue to elude him", right? I like this very much, thanks!

    *However hard works - I thought you missed the "he" here.

    * He has crossed every sea, and traced every valley. - This one riddles me. All the preceeding sentences, you've changed to the present tense while this one remains as is. Do I need to convert it to the present?

    * There is no greater joy for man then to accomplish the purpose for which he was truly created. - And this one I like the most. You gave me a wonderful conclusion. Thanks a lot Carl!

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    Re: Mysteries in our life

    *solved - can't I use 'unearth' there. It doesn't seem natural to me too, but could you tell me why. (Unearth means to discover. I was thinking that mysteries are either solved or unsolved but I guess you could discover a new mystry too so use whichever you wish )

    * man is a restless - If I was thinking about his 'becoming' something he was not before, would this apply? (I guess I have thought that man has always been restless but as it is your text please write it the way you see it.)

    * man grows constantly in knowledge - What if I'm thinking of the "greatness/degree" of what he's learned? I used "intensely" in my original writing, doesn't it fit the sentence well? (We usually refer to greatness/degree of knowledge as "depth" thus: He has great depth of knowledge.... so you might want to use the word depth to describe amount )

    * continue to be elude him - I think you mean " continue to elude him", right? I like this very much, thanks! (Yes you are correct. I was going too fast I guess )

    *However hard works - I thought you missed the "he" here. (Yes )

    * He has crossed every sea, and traced every valley. - This one riddles me. All the preceding sentences, you've changed to the present tense while this one remains as is. Do I need to convert it to the present? (I thought this might confuse you. I used past tense here because it describes things that have been accomplished where as the other things are still ongoing)

    * There is no greater joy for man then to accomplish the purpose for which he was truly created. - And this one I like the most. You gave me a wonderful conclusion. Thanks a lot Carl!

    You are most welcome. I am happy to help. You have a flair for writing and you have great insight into the human condition.

  5. #5
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    Re: Mysteries in our life

    I still couldn't settle on this one.

    * man grows constantly in knowledge - What if I'm thinking of the "greatness/degree" of what he's learned? I used "intensely" in my original writing, doesn't it fit the sentence well? (We usually refer to greatness/degree of knowledge as "depth" thus: He has great depth of knowledge.... so you might want to use the word depth to describe amount )
    Did I get it right this time? What do you think, Carl?

    I have observed...

    that though man grew deeply in knowledge, perpetual problems still remain unresolved.




    __________________________________________________ ___
    * Btw, Thanks for all the help. It's really good to have such people like you here.

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    blouen's Avatar
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    Smile Re: Mysteries in our life

    Quote Originally Posted by Hi_there_Carl View Post
    [/I]You are most welcome. I am happy to help. You have a flair for writing and you have great insight into the human condition.
    Thanks. Having said that, you can expect to see more of my writings here.

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    Smile Re: Mysteries in our life

    Here's the latest edition.


    Mysteries in our life


    I have observed...

    that throughout the time that man has tread the earth, the deepness of his understanding of the world has grown a great deal. Ancient secrets were revealed by his restless search to understand his environment and the meaning of his life. He's spent an enormous amount of time on research. He's glued himself to his seat and has stuck his nose into his books. The more he learns the more voraciously he craves to know. For the more secrets he uncovers, the more the mysteries creep into his mind still awaiting to be solved. Thus, man has become a restless, insatiable being.


    I have observed...

    that though man grew deeply in knowledge, perpetual problems still remain unresolved. The answers to many mysteries continue to elude him. However hard he works to understand, many mysteries remain unknown. One of these is man's search for absolute happiness, joy that is not skin deep but perpetual and true. He pours out every strength to attain happiness but nothing seems to work. He searches for money, and acquires it, but they're of no help to him. He searches for friends and company, but they all come and go. He searches for a perfect spouse but no one seems to meet the standard. He works and he plays, and watches all the TV shows. He has crossed every sea, and traced every valley. He comes back home - unhappy. All to him now seems momentary.


    I have observed...

    and not only me; Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, saw the futility of man's existence. There is nothing in store for man's life per se. He's like travelling in an unfamiliar road to nothingness. For in the immense knowledge he had gained, he has neglected the rudiments of true living given him by his Creator. Only with a purpose can man have joy, and only his Creator can truly reward him with this joy, unspeakable and full of glory(1 Pet. 1:8). I think that man should go back to his seat, clean up his desk and start reading the book his Creator handed down to him. Solomon also declared, ?Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man(Ecc. 12:13).?

    There is no greater joy for man than to accomplish the purpose for which he was truly created.

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