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  1. #1
    jkl is offline Member
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    Post Humble request to correct the grammatical errors

    This is a just a servey. Please check if sentences are well writen. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.


    1) What do you like about your job?

    I enjoy helping customers. It gives us a great opportunity to work with people.

    2) What is not so great about your job?

    The desk area in my job should be reorganized. Clarks should have their desks to help customers right by the terminals. Few staffs can sit at the computer work stations to help customers and the others can stay behind the desk to do other duties.

    3) If you could stop one thing what would it be?

    I would like not to embarrass people when they walk through the exit. Most of the times our gate goes off for materials borrowed or bought from other places such as block buster movies, lap top, mp3 players and so on and forth. It embarrasses people a lot. We have just got a new exit gate but it still goes off for materials that do not belong to our store.

    4) If you could start doing one NEW thing what would it be?
    We have 2 hours, 1, 3 and 7 days loan period for some materials. Since we are open for 24 hours we may practice for another 3/ 4 hours loan period. It is noticeable that our 2 hour loan period is very popular so I believe if we can have another 3/4 hours short time loan period it would be helpful.
    I would like to thank you a lot for asking the above questions.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Humble request to correct the grammatical errors

    Quote Originally Posted by jkl View Post
    1) What do you like about your job?

    I enjoy helping customers. It gives us a great opportunity to work with people.
    I enjoy helping customers. It gives me a great opportunity to work with people.

    You're talking about yourself, so you should not use "us".

    Quote Originally Posted by jkl View Post
    2) What is not so great about your job?

    The desk area in my job should be reorganized. Clarks should have their desks to help customers right by the terminals. Few staffs can sit at the computer work stations to help customers and the others can stay behind the desk to do other duties.
    Honestly, I'm not too sure what you're trying to express here because I don't know what the scenario is like. But here's my take:

    The desks are disorganized. Clerks should have their own desks to help customers by the terminals. Staff may sit at the computer workstations to assist customers while the rest do their duties at their desks. This way, there will be more focus and better response time in assisting customers.


    In negative things, try to us we instead of I, suggest improvements and state the outcome of the improvements. The italicized text are my additions, you may remove them if you wish :)

    Quote Originally Posted by jkl View Post
    3) If you could stop one thing what would it be?

    I would like not to embarrass people when they walk through the exit. Most of the times our gate goes off for materials borrowed or bought from other places such as block buster movies, lap top, mp3 players and so on and forth. It embarrasses people a lot. We have just got a new exit gate but it still goes off for materials that do not belong to our store.
    I guess you mean different sections or departments within the store.

    I would request a solution that prevents the security system from going off whenever customers borrow or bring items from other departments or sections. Despite the recent installment of the new gates, the problem still occurs. It is embarrassing for them, and even more embarrassing for us to assure and to explain the technical glitch.

    A collective word such as "department" or "section" is always preferred to the names of the actual departments or sections.

    Quote Originally Posted by jkl View Post
    4) If you could start doing one NEW thing what would it be?
    We have 2 hours, 1, 3 and 7 days loan period for some materials. Since we are open for 24 hours we may practice for another 3/ 4 hours loan period. It is noticeable that our 2 hour loan period is very popular so I believe if we can have another 3/4 hours short time loan period it would be helpful.
    I would like to thank you a lot for asking the above questions.
    We could have a 3- or 4-hour loan, in addition to our current 2-hour period. As our 2-hour loans are very popular, offering that as a second option may bring more convenience to the customer and more profit in one transaction. I would like to thank you for asking the above questions.

    There is no need to include "period" after "loan", because "loan" implies a period.
    You should not use "a lot" after "thank you" in formal situations, even though you mean it. "A lot" is very casual and colloquial.

    When companies ask for feedback, tell them things that will benefit them. That way you and your feedback is recognized.

  3. #3
    jkl is offline Member
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    Default Re: Humble request to correct the grammatical errors

    Thank you very for your help.

    I understad my description and ans. were unclear to question no. 2. Actually everybody has a desk and computer in our department. All sit at their own desks little bit far from the terminals where customer waits for being helped. Whenever a customer comes and stands in line to the terminals someone goes from the desk to help. So I think insted of having everybody at their desk some of us can sit at the computer workstantions to assist customers and some of us can sit at our own desks to do other duties in that case we can even take a turn.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Humble request to correct the grammatical errors

    You may say:

    We have to walk a long distance from our desks to assist customers at the workstations. Not only is it tiresome, it puts customers on unnecessary waits. To save this operation overhead, I suggest scheduling staff to take turns at the workstations, stationed there to assist customers for a stipulated amount of time before returning to their desks and their clerical work. This will ensure dedicated support personnel at the workstations and focused workers at their desks at all times, minimizing the customer wait and desk work disruptions.

    Hope that helps.

    Oh yes, for the third answer I made further corrections as the words may mean the wrong thing (you know, saying what you mean and meaning what you say):

    I would request a solution that prevents the security system from going off whenever customers borrow or bring items from other departments or sections. Despite the recent installment of the new gates, the problem still occurs. Not only is it embarrassing for them, it is more embarrassing for our company image. Furthermore, we have to break from our duties to assure them and explain the technical glitch.

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