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  1. #1
    hoang21anh's Avatar
    hoang21anh is offline Newbie
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    Post What do you think about my writing?

    BE MORE CAREFUL !
    Peter and Jack were two brothers. They always had nervously adventurous days together.
    One day, Peter was giving Jack a ride from the gym. They were on the high way. Jack asked: "I still can't find my sneakers".
    _ Can't you? Oh, of course! It's in my bag. Ha ha ha.
    _ How dare you? I've been suffering from my bare feet because of you! Do you know that the ground is very hot in this weather?
    _ So, take your sneakers. I'm just kidding a little!
    After Jack put his sneakers on, he said: "Now, I wish the police were here."
    _ What for?
    _ To catch you because you hid my sneakers.
    _ Oh, really? So, OK. Because you said that, don't forget!
    Suddenly, the car went faster and faster. Peter broke the speed limit. A minute later, behind them came the police. Jack became frightened. He asked Peter: "What have you done?"
    _ I did what you wished. You want it, don't you?
    Then, Peter turned the steering wheel hard to the right to go into a small town. He drove very fast in order to cause a traffic jam. He thought that would prevent the police from catching up with them. But unfortunately, the police were still after them. Peter suddenly stopped the car at a sport clothes shop. They hurriedly changed into new clothes and got out of the shop in blue track suits.
    "Hurry up! The police!" They got into the car and went as fast as they could. This time, luck didn't come to them. When they were trying to escape, a tram crossed their way and stopped them. At last they were arrested.
    Jack said to Peter: "I'll be more careful with what I say." And Peter said to Jack: "And I'll be more careful with what I do".

  2. #2
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Default Re: What do you think about my writing?

    Quote Originally Posted by hoang21anh View Post
    BE MORE CAREFUL !
    Peter and Jack were two brothers. They always had nervously adventurous days together. You may mean what you say here, but it is an odd description.
    One day, Peter was giving Jack a ride from the gym. They were on the high way. Jack said "I still can't find my sneakers."
    "Can't you? Oh, of course! They are in my bag. Ha ha ha."
    "How dare you? I've been suffering from my bare feet because of you! Don't you know that the ground is very hot in this weather?"
    "So take your sneakers. I'm just kidding a little!"
    After Jack put his sneakers on, he said: "Now, I wish the police were here."
    "What for?"
    "To catch you because you hid my sneakers."
    "Oh, really? OK. Because you said that, don't forget!"
    Suddenly, the car went faster and faster. Peter broke the speed limit. A minute later, behind them came the police. Jack became frightened. He asked Peter: "What have you done?"
    "I did what you wished. You wanted the police, didn't you?"
    Then Peter turned the steering wheel hard to the right to go into a small town. He drove very fast in order to cause a traffic jam. He thought that would prevent the police from catching up with them. But unfortunately, the police were still after them. Peter suddenly stopped the car at a sport clothes shop. They hurriedly changed into new clothes and got out of the shop in blue track suits.
    "Hurry up! The police!" They got into the car and went as fast as they could. This time, they were out of luck. When they were trying to escape, a tram crossed their way and stopped them. At last they were arrested.
    Jack said to Peter: "I'll be more careful with what I say in future." And Peter said to Jack: "And I'll be more careful with what I do".
    .

  3. #3
    hoang21anh's Avatar
    hoang21anh is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: What do you think about my writing?

    Thanks for helping!

  4. #4
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: What do you think about my writing?

    Quote Originally Posted by hoang21anh View Post
    Peter and Jack were two brothers. They always had nervously adventurous days together.
    Peter and Jack were brothers. They liked playing games, and they liked taking chances.

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