Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: biography

  1. #1
    ripley is offline Senior Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Italian
      • Home Country:
      • Italy
      • Current Location:
      • Italy
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    589
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default biography

    Hi!

    I'd like to help a friend of mine. He wrote the biography of his band and I translated it. Can you tell me wether the text is correct?
    How could I embetter it? Please it is important!!!!
    This is the text:

    CAGE started off in Carrara, Italy, in 1987; after some changes the line-up includes:(NAMES)

    The group played many gigs above all in the centre and in the north of Italy.
    They took part in several shows and competitions such as Savona Rock (final trial at the Palasport, Savona 1989), Festival Europa Spettacolo (final trial in Chianciano Terme, Siena 1990), Musica Nelle Scuole (final trial at the Piper, Roma 1990) and Yamaha Band Explosion (final trial at the City Square, Milano 1991).
    In 1992 they signed a contract with the record company TOAST, from Torino, and published the single The View, included in the compilation Punto Zero (N8, 1992). The following year they recorded their first album, TheFeeble-Minded Man (TDLP880, 1993), a suite dating back to 1987-88.
    In 1994 they appeared at the Video Music TV show Segnali Di Fumo where they also presented their live video clip.
    From the end of that year the members of the group decided to work individually and to experiment different kinds of music, like Jazz.
    In the year 2000 they joined again and devoted themselves to a new project which is focused on Progressive Rock, enriched by influences from other music genres, as the CD Demo recorded in March 2001 clearly shows.
    In 2003 the band record a complete CD containing songs from 1987 to 1992, suite included.
    In July 2003 CAGE partecipated in the I-TIM Tour rock contest (100 bands were selected among more than 4000 groups...); the band won the Senigallia (AN) session and partecipated in the final trial in Milan on the 5th September... The video clip showing the performance in Senigallia was broadcast on the satellite channel Rock Tv (SKY). In 2004 the group signed a contract with [FONT='Verdana','sans-serif']Musea Records [/FONT]and in 2005 came out "87/94". This release was a good achievement( I MEAN IT WAS A SUCCESS) ; it won praise from music critics in specialized magazines on the web and enjoyed great success in many European countries as well as in Japan.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    5,425
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: biography

    Hi!

    I'd like to help a friend of mine. He wrote the biography of his band and I translated it. Can you tell me whether the text is correct?
    How could I improve it? Please - it is important!!!!
    This is the text:

    CAGE started off in Carrara, Italy, in 1987; and after some changes the line-up includes:…………(NAMES)

    The group played many gigs, mostly in the central region and the north of Italy. They took part in several shows and competitions such as Savona Rock (final round
    ( or, Savona Rock (finalists)
    This would be the same for each time you've written 'final trial'.

    at the Palasport, Savona 1989), Festival Europa Spettacolo (final round in Chianciano Terme, Siena 1990), Musica Nelle Scuole (final round at the Piper, Roma 1990) and Yamaha Band Explosion (final round at the City Square, Milano 1991).
    In 1992 they signed a contract with the record company TOAST, in Torino, and published the single The View, included in the compilation Punto Zero (N8, 1992) The following year they recorded their first album,
    The Feeble-Minded Man (TDLP880, 1993), a suite dating back to 1987-88.

    Are you sure you mean 'suite'? This word would indicate a set of instrumental compositions, originally in dance style, to be played in succession.
    or a set of selected pieces from an opera or musical, arranged to be played as one instrumental work.


    In 1994 they appeared at the Video Music TV show Segnali Di Fumo where they also presented their live video clip.
    From the end of that year, the members of the group decided to work individually and to experiment with different kinds of music, like Jazz.
    In the year 2000 they reunited, devoting themselves to a new project (which is-omit) focused on Progressive Rock and enriched by influences from other music genres,

    'enriched' is perhaps not the word to use when discussing Rock music- it's too formal, literary a word. What about just:
    Progressive Rock, with influences from other music genres, as the CD Demo recorded in March 2001 clearly shows.
    In 2003 the band recorded a complete CD containing songs from 1987 to 1992, and included The Feeble-Minded Man suite.


    In July 2003 CAGE participated in the I-TIM Tour rock contest (100 bands (were-omit) selected from among more than 4000 groups), ; won the Senigallia (AN) session; and participated in the final trial

    do you mean trial?, - or round, concert, gig, final night???

    in Milan on the 5th September. The video clip of the performance in Senigallia was broadcast on the satellite channel Rock TV (SKY). In 2004 the group signed a contract with [FONT='Verdana','sans-serif']Musea Records [/font]and in 2005, "87/94" came out. This release was a commercial success, and won praise from music critics in specialized magazines on the web. It went on to enjoy great success in many European countries as well as in Japan.

    Look at the orange bits and let me know, and we'll finish it off.
    Last edited by David L.; 11-Jan-2008 at 20:57.

  3. #3
    ripley is offline Senior Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Italian
      • Home Country:
      • Italy
      • Current Location:
      • Italy
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    589
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: biography

    Hi David !
    Thanks a lot for you help..
    I 'm almost sure that the term suite is proper because their rock contains a lot of influences from classical music and my friend used that musical term to describe it.
    When I used the word "trial" I meant that they took part in the music contest and they advanced to the last round.
    You are very kind
    Rip

  4. #4
    ripley is offline Senior Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Italian
      • Home Country:
      • Italy
      • Current Location:
      • Italy
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    589
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: biography

    Hi David!
    I have a doubt: why do you say "it wen on" ( to enjoy....)? Does it mean "later"?
    Thanks
    Rip

  5. #5
    ripley is offline Senior Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Italian
      • Home Country:
      • Italy
      • Current Location:
      • Italy
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    589
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: biography

    That's me again......
    about this sentence: "they were selected from among more than 4000 groups"
    Do I have to write "from among" or only "from" instead of "among"?
    Thanks
    Rip

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    5,425
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: biography

    It refers to the (successful) history of something, in the sense of an unconquerable army with one victory after another.
    The movie won the Golden Globe Award for Best Film, and went on to take 3 Oscars at the Academy Awards the following month.
    Last edited by David L.; 12-Jan-2008 at 07:11.

Similar Threads

  1. Author Biography/Author's Biography?
    By asad hussain in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 30-Mar-2007, 22:52
  2. My Biography ,,, plz wanna check
    By shatat in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 29-Sep-2006, 09:00
  3. biography
    By Hezekiah Chorba in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 21-Jun-2006, 08:44
  4. how to write a biography
    By rose_smilling in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 01-Jun-2006, 12:17
  5. biography
    By Dany in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 01-Oct-2004, 12:26

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Hotchalk