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  1. #1
    Unregistered Guest

    Post Please correct and improve my sentences

    Can you please correct and improve my sentences so they make sense? P.s. My sentences should contain 23 words each without including the words "to", "an", "a", "the" and "and".

    1. Climbing precautiously on the rocky mountai, the alpinist took pauses more frequently to catch his breath, because the amount of oxygen in the air was lacking as he got closer to the summit.
    2. Analyzing critically her daughter's vaccination booklet and consulting the doctor, Clara's mother realized it was time to her child to be immunized against meningitis and chicken pox.
    3. Rushing to the hospital by ambulance, the pregnant woman was feeling the increase of the unbearable pain and was only releived when she finally gave birth to her first baby.
    4. Organizing an incradible surprise party for the occasion of her est friend's birthday, Melinda invited around sixty persons, bought the ice cream cake and entertained the excited crowd.
    5. Watching the football game on the television, my father and my uncle were eating hot dogs, accompanied by a small portion of fries and a big mug of root beer.

  2. #2
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: Please correct and improve my sentences

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post

    1. Climbing cautiously up the rocky mountain, the alpinist took pauses more frequently to catch his breath, because the amount of oxygen in the air was lacking as he got closer to the summit.

  3. #3
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: Please correct and improve my sentences

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    2. Analyzing critically her daughter's vaccination booklet and consulting the doctor, Clara's mother realized it was time for her child to be immunized against meningitis and chicken pox.
    3. Rushing to the hospital by ambulance, the pregnant woman was feeling the increase of the unbearable pain and was only relieved when she finally gave birth to her first baby.
    4. Organizing an incredible surprise party for the occasion of her best friend's birthday, Melinda invited around sixty people, bought the ice cream cake and entertained the excited crowd.
    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    5. Watching the football game on the television, my father and my uncle were eating hot dogs, accompanied by a small portion of fries and a big mug of root beer.
    Watching the football game on television, my father and my uncle ate hot dogs and French fries and drank a considerable amount of icy cold frosty root beer.

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