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    #1

    Angry Help me edit my paragraph

    Positive Quailty
    One of my positive quality is that I am a kind of person who is very sympathetic. I really love listening to the other people problems, especially my friends, and I like helping people whenever they are in trouble. I have a strong feeling in understanding the otherís people problems. I also have a high willing in helping the homeless, old and skinny people, whom they are often seen walking or sitting along the streets or anyone who is in a bad situation. As a real example, in Phnom Penh last year, I saw an old skinny woman sitting a long a street in Phnom Penh. I was so sympathetic toward her that I gave her five thousands riels to buy something to eat. However, having this kind of personality trait sometimes can be a real disadvantage. Some people do not want any help from the others and they tend to do anything or particularly solve the problems by themselves. This kind of people doesnít want to receive sympathy. In short, I really love this positive quality and I am pleased to transfer this personality to all of my friends, and everyone if possible.


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    #2

    Re: Help me edit my paragraph

    hi,

    my personal points of view are in brackets.First you never say positive quality for a quality is already positive.so:
    "One quality i have is to be a very compassionate person"(you can keep sympathetic but compassionate is more common)
    "Other people problems", "i can deeply feel and understand other people problems"; " i am always willing to help homelesses, old and famished people who are often sitting or walking along the streets( for you canīt sit along the street), or anybody else in a desperate situation(sounds better)." sitting in the street". "i felt so much sympathy that i gave her...". " having this kind of character" (or you can keep personality but donīt add trait)." do not want any help from others"; "solve their problems"; " i love this quality and I am pleased to impart it to all my friends.."

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    #3

    Re: Help me edit my paragraph

    My Positive Quality
    One of my positive qualities is that I am the kind of person who is very sympathetic. I really love listening to other people's problems, especially my friends. I also like helping people whenever they are in trouble. I have a strong capability to understand problems. I also am very willing to help the homeless, old, and undernourished people, who are often seen walking or sitting along the streets. I care about anyone who is in a bad situation. For example, in Phnom Penh last year, I saw an old, skinny woman sitting on the ground along a street in Phnom Penh. I felt so sympathetic toward her that I gave her five thousands riels to buy something to eat. However, having this kind of personality trait sometimes can be a real disadvantage. Some people do not want any help from others. They tend to not want to do anything or want to solve the problem by themselves. This kind of person doesnít want to receive my sympathy or offers of help. Anyway, I am glad that I have sympathy for others, and I consider it a positive trait. I am pleased to be able to extend this personality trait to all of my friends, and everyone if possible.

  1. RonBee's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Help me edit my paragraph

    Quote Originally Posted by susiedqq View Post
    My Positive Quality
    One of my positive qualities is that I am the kind of person who is very sympathetic. I really love listening to other people's problems, especially my friends. I also like helping people whenever they are in trouble. I have a strong capability to understand problems. I also am very willing to help the homeless, old, and undernourished people, who are often seen walking or sitting along the streets. I care about anyone who is in a bad situation. For example, in Phnom Penh last year, I saw an old, skinny woman sitting on the ground along a street in Phnom Penh. I felt so sympathetic toward her that I gave her five thousands riels to buy something to eat. However, having this kind of personality trait sometimes can be a real disadvantage. Some people do not want any help from others. They tend to not want to do anything or want to solve the problem by themselves. This kind of person doesnít want to receive my sympathy or offers of help. Anyway, I am glad that I have sympathy for others, and I consider it a positive trait. I am pleased to be able to extend this personality trait to all of my friends, and everyone if possible.
    That is good except for the last sentence. I don't think you can extend a personality trait. (I am not even sure what that means.) I would perhaps simply delete that sentence.


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