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    • Join Date: Jul 2007
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    #1

    Please correct this essay

    Topic: If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer


    If I could changed one important thing about my hometown, I would improve the roads in my country, which are currently in a very bad state. People often have difficulties in travelling around the country because of potholes and filthy state of the road.
    A lot of potholes is one of the causes of motion sickness. Travelers often can hardly recovered after a long trip since they have been joilted and jerked all the way through. Children running while playing can stumble and fall. In my opinion, it would be better if we even the ground's surface in order to lessen risks when traveling.
    The filthy state of the ground also account for the ugly view of our country. People thow trash indiscriminately on the streets while traveling. People throw trash indiscriminately from their house to the streets. In a word, people throw trash all over the place. However, if we look further into the matter, we will discover that there is hardly a trashcan on the street. Consequently, were I a powerful governor, I would put at least one trashcan per street and hire the weepers to clean up once a week. I would also set a rule that anyone who caught littering will be severely fined.
    All in all, the quality of the roads and how they look represent the pace of development of one country. When people travel on roads which are in good condition, they will feel better about their hometown and themselves altogether.


    • Join Date: Jul 2007
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    #2

    Re: Please correct this essay

    I made some typos, my middle finger was hurt

  1. Kai13's Avatar

    • Join Date: Feb 2008
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    #3

    Re: Please correct this essay

    If I could change one important thing about my hometown, I would improve the roads in my country, which are currently in a very bad state. People often have difficulties in travelling around the country because of potholes and filthy state of the road.
    The existence of a lot of potholes is one of the causes of motion sickness. Travelers often can hardly recover after a long trip since they have been joilted and jerked all the way through. Children running while playing can stumble and fall. In my opinion, it would be better if we even the ground's surface in order to lessen risks when traveling. (Do what? Ur sentence does not make any sense )

    The filthy state of the ground also counts for the ugly view of our country. People throw trash indiscriminately on the streets while traveling. People throw trash indiscriminately from their house to the streets. In a word, people throw trash all over the place. However, if we look further into the matter, we will discover that there is hardly a trashcan on the street. Consequently, were I a powerful governor, I would put at least one trashcan per street and hire the weepers to clean up once a week. I would also set a rule that anyone who caught littering will be severely fined.
    All in all, the quality of the roads and how they look represents the pace of development of one country. When people travel on roads which are in good condition, they will feel better about their hometown and themselves altogether.
    ______________________________________________

    Done.
    You have a only a few mistakes, but as I am a studant, you miay have a few more than I actually believe, since there's still some vocabulary i don't know of.
    Oh, and there's a sentence which I cannot correct, because it makes no sense.


    • Join Date: Jul 2007
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    #4

    Re: Please correct this essay

    Thanks
    I made lots of mistakes when typing because my middle finger still hurt, I did not review, however. I'm sorry, you should replace even by level

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