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  1. #1
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    letter

    can you correct my letter please?



    Dear Sir or Madam,

    I am writing to you to apply for the Master’s Degree in Biotechnology in which I am particularly interested.

    I hold a 4 year BS degree in the fileds of Bioengineering, the first Bioengineering Deparment in Turkey, from – University.

    My aim is to work in an international field related to Industrial Biotechnlogy and Bioprocess Engineering. Therefore I would like to gain a deeper theoretical and practical knowledge in fields of Control Systems in Fermentation and Bioprocess. I believe a university with a high reputation like --- is the best place to achieve my career objectives.

    My Professional background is compromised of three years of technical and managerial experience. I have two years of relevant accomplishments in the Pharmaceutical Industry within operations, engineering and manufacturing.
    I have worked in --- Marketing Company,(-----) for 15 months. I worked in Technical Service Department as Bioprocess Engineer.

    I have been still working ---- Production Marketing Company (Turkey) since January 2008.

    The following outlines pertinent aspects of my career;

    Substantial background in product and process development.
    Significant experience and accomplishments in Water purification systems (Distillation, Deiyonization, Reverse Osmosis).
    Significant experience in Cold/Hot water systems (+37 C and +4 C systems).
    Significant experience in Steam and air systems (Sterile steam and air).
    Significant experience in Freeze Drying.
    Significant experience Extraction, Evaporation,and Purification (Chromotography Technics)



    In conclusion I would like to say that I like to take responsibility and to work as part of a team. I am eager to gain new experiences and in my opinion this program is the best way to achieve that.

    Thank you very much for your time and consideration, I will look forward for your response.

    Best regards.

    _____________

    [Identifying personal details deleted - Moderator]

  2. #2
    susiedqq is offline Key Member
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    Re: letter

    Dear Sir or Madam,

    I am writing to apply for the Master’s Degree Program in Biotechnology, which I am particularly interested.

    I hold a 4-year BS degree in Bioengineering, graduating from the first Bioengineering Department in Turkey, from – University.

    My aim is to work in the international field related to Industrial Biotechnlogy and Bioprocess Engineering. Therefore I would like to gain a deeper theoretical and practical knowledge in the fields of Control Systems in Fermentation and Bioprocess. I believe a university with a high reputation such as --- is the best place to work towards achieving my career objective.

    My professional background consists of three years of technical and managerial experience. I have two years of relevant accomplishments in the Pharmaceutical Industry within operations, engineering and manufacturing. I have worked at --- Marketing Company, (-----) for 15 months. I worked in Technical Service Department as Bioprocess Engineer.

    I am currently employed at ---- Production Marketing Company (Turkey) since January 2008.

    The following outlines pertinent aspects of my career:

    Substantial background in product and process development.
    Significant experience and accomplishments in Water purification systems (Distillation, Deiyonization, Reverse Osmosis).
    Significant experience in Cold/Hot water systems (+37 C and +4 C systems).
    Significant experience in Steam and Air Systems (Sterile steam and air).
    Significant experience in Freeze Drying.
    Significant experience Extraction, Evaporation,and Purification (Chromotography Techniques)


    In conclusion, I would like to say that I am able to accept responsibility and to work as part of a team. I am eager to gain new experiences and feel that this program is the best way to achieve that.

    Thank you very much for your time and consideration.

    I look forward to your response.

    Best regards,

  3. #3
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Re: letter

    Quote Originally Posted by susiedqq View Post

    I am writing to apply for the Master’s Degree Program in Biotechnology, which I am particularly interested. [this is now an inconclusive sentence. Did you mean to delete "in"?]
    .

  4. #4
    susiedqq is offline Key Member
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    Re: letter

    Oops - Anyway, I'd change it to:

    ,in which I have particular interest.

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