Results 1 to 9 of 9
  1. #1
    Dally is offline Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Arabic
      • Home Country:
      • Saudi Arabia
      • Current Location:
      • Saudi Arabia
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    222
    Post Thanks / Like

    Question pleaze I need your help..I would be glad if you help me

    Hii Everybody
    I want you to highlight the grammatical mistakes or any thin wrong in the following article and correct them for me pleaze

    The hardest feeling in your life is..


    When you have inside of yourself..


    Lots of terrible pains..


    Lots of anxieties..


    But you can't by any way to reveal all of your feelings..


    Really it us very hard feeling..


    It makes your heart more painful..


    At that time..


    You want to cry.


    yell.


    And shout..


    To tell anyone what is in your heart..


    Anyone..


    Yes.. yes anyone..


    Who love you..


    Or even who dose not..


    Just to feel comfortable..


    And make your hard feeling less painful..


    Nevertheless you can not do that yes you can not..


    The people around you can not understand you..


    Whatever you are giving them a perfect description..


    Whatever you are being honest with them..


    They will never understand you..


    In contrast ,may be they will blame you by strength ..


    They will upbraid you..


    May be the will slap you and increase your deep pain..


    On the other hand, you may find who can understand you


    But if you found them, they will admonish you because of your feelings which cause your great pain


    Hard feeling


    When you do not find anyone who can understand you


    But what you can do is just drowning in your tears sea lonely


    What you can do is just talking to the bright stars at the night and tell them all of your great secrets


    Or you can just holding your friendly pen


    Because it is the only one that is always patient with you



    I'm waiting for the answes


    pleaze give me a complete answers



    Thanks in advance


    Best Wishes

  2. #2
    susiedqq is offline Key Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Academic
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    2,944
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: pleaze I need your help..I would be glad if you help me

    Is this a translation of a poem?

  3. #3
    Dally is offline Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Arabic
      • Home Country:
      • Saudi Arabia
      • Current Location:
      • Saudi Arabia
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    222
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: pleaze I need your help..I would be glad if you help me

    No I just red the article and I liked the idea and wrote it in my own writing
    but actually I added new ideas and changed the others
    Can you pleaze tell me about the grammatical mistakes and correct them for me...?

  4. #4
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    19,448
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: pleaze I need your help..I would be glad if you help me

    Quote Originally Posted by Dally View Post
    Hii Everybody
    I want you to highlight the grammatical mistakes or anything wrong in the following article and correct them for me please
    The hardest feeling in your life is
    When you have inside of yourself
    Lots of terrible pains,
    Lots of anxieties,
    But you can't in any way reveal all of your feelings.
    Really it is a very hard feeling.
    It makes your heart more painful..
    At that time
    You want to cry,
    yell,
    And shout
    To tell anyone what is in your heart.
    Anyone...
    Yes.. yes... anyone
    Who loves you
    Or even who does not,
    Just to feel comfortable
    And make your hard feelings less painful.
    Nevertheless you cannot do that - no, you cannot.
    The people around you do not understand you.
    Whenever you are giving them a perfect description,
    Whenever you are being honest with them.,
    They still do not understand you..
    In contrast, maybe they will blame you strongly,
    They will upbraid you.
    Maybe they will slap you and increase your deep pain.
    On the other hand, you may find some/someone who can understand you.
    But if you found them, they will admonish you because of your feelings which cause your great pain.
    Hard feeling
    When you do not find anyone who can understand you.
    But what you can do is just drowning in your tears sea lonelyWhat you can do is just talking to the bright stars at the night and tell them all of your great secretsBut what you can do is drown your loneliness in a sea of tears, or talk to the bright stars at night, telling them all your great secrets.
    Or you can just hold your friendly pen
    Because it is the only thing that is always patient with you
    I'm waiting for the answers
    Please give me a complete answers
    Thanks in advance
    Best Wishes


    It reads like a poem, partly because of the way in which you have laid out the lines.

    Your punctuation is weird!

  5. #5
    Dally is offline Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Arabic
      • Home Country:
      • Saudi Arabia
      • Current Location:
      • Saudi Arabia
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    222
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: pleaze I need your help..I would be glad if you help me

    Thanx a lot (Anglika)
    for this perfect correction
    But I want to ask you a question...

    What do you meane by(weird)?
    Is it negative or positive?

    Also, I want to ask u about my English Language
    How did you find it as a target language?

    Thanks again

  6. #6
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    19,448
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: pleaze I need your help..I would be glad if you help me

    Quote Originally Posted by Dally View Post
    Thanx a lot (Anglika)
    for this perfect correction
    But I want to ask you a question...

    What do you meane by(weird)?
    Is it negative or positive?

    Also, I want to ask u about my English Language
    How did you find it as a target language?

    Thanks again
    If you look at your original and then at my suggested changes, you will see that you keep using a double point [ .. ] and that there is no reason for any punctuation in many places. That's what I meant by weird.

    I am not sure that I understand "target language" but your English is not too bad. It needs working on, but you have some good sentences there, very evocative and expressive.

  7. #7
    Dally is offline Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Arabic
      • Home Country:
      • Saudi Arabia
      • Current Location:
      • Saudi Arabia
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    222
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: pleaze I need your help..I would be glad if you help me

    Thank you for your explanation
    actually English Language is not my First Language
    But I'm studing now English Language
    Always I get a bad grads
    really I don't know why
    my (Doctors)tell me that my English is so poor
    therfore I asked u about my English

    By the way I will improve my English and this site will help me of course

  8. #8
    Dally is offline Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Arabic
      • Home Country:
      • Saudi Arabia
      • Current Location:
      • Saudi Arabia
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    222
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: pleaze I need your help..I would be glad if you help me

    Helo
    Where are you English Teachers....?

    I want to know if my topic is well written or not?

    give me a clear answe please

  9. #9
    susiedqq is offline Key Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Academic
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    2,944
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: pleaze I need your help..I would be glad if you help me

    Yes, your topic is well written. But it is written as a poem.

    It is quite good, as a poem.

    If you want to write it as a paragraph, you must re-write it and put all the sentences together.

Similar Threads

  1. Glad to be back on land
    By dwood202 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 06-Dec-2007, 10:08
  2. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 24-Nov-2006, 10:04
  3. Glad (I'm)
    By Lizzy1 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 24-Oct-2006, 07:46
  4. Anyway, I'm glad that's over with.
    By Anonymous in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 16-Apr-2003, 21:41

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Hotchalk