Your English is excellent. I have made a few changes just to tidy the essay up a little.
On March 09, 2006 I arrived in the United States, a land of promise to which many people can only dream of going. At that time, I didn't realise how much life would change for me. What I had in mind was a simple dream, a simple ambition of receiving a good education, which would form a firm foundation for my future career. God had now permitted me to be here and to experience the closeness and security of a family that I hadn’t had over the previous 15 years. Being away from my father had not been that easy, especially for my mother who had had to play the roles of father, mother and best friend for me. I developed my dedication in life because I realized how much my father had sacrificed by living and working so far from us. In that all these contribute to my well being, I must say that I am blessed and that there are no obstacles I am unable face because I belong to a strong and loving family.
My name is _____________ and I am now in my second year here at Southwestern College. My first semester here in summer 2006 was the first step in my career plan of becoming a nursing major. Most of my classmates were fluent in English and I didn’t feel confident about my English skills. I was afraid that people might not understand me. It became a challenge for me to become a part of this community despite the barrier of my less than perfect English. I was given the opportunity to work at the Academic Success Center (ASC), which was the tutoring center of Southwestern school. This opportunity made me happy and helped me to be a better individual. I learned that life was like a river, you should learn how to go with the flow, and allow nothing to hinder your passage.
I am now in my second year of college and in spite of my language issue, I am still keen to pursue my goal and be able to maintain my GPA, not only for me, but also for my family who believes in me. This great world had opened my mind and heart to not only accept but also to appreciate these new things around me: new school, new friends, and new mentors. These shouldn’t be the cause of my fear, but instead are my second family, who have taught me to be strong, and willing to take on the challenges of life. I should not stop here, but instead use these as my launchpad for the success for which I strive. I could perhaps see myself receiving my diploma and thanking my family, and my Southwestern family for giving me that strength and courage to succeed.
I have nothing to promise, but my sincerity of doing my best in achieving this goal. I am glad that in spite of where I came from; this new world accepted me for who and what I am. I have my mentor and friends who stand by me who give me words of wisdom. I will try my utmost to be worthy of all your trust and I will continue to do so for rest of my life. I am very grateful that I am a part of this community college and whatever life brings, I will always be proud to be a part of my home Southwestern College.