Nowadays advertising has a HUGE impact on society, PARTICULARLY on the YOUNGER generation. People are BEGINNING to believe what they SEE AND HEAR every day, especially if it is PRESENTED TO THEM IN A glamorous and attractive way. THIS MEANS THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE END UP BUYING things that they REALLY don’t need.
It is obvious that advertising helps businessES GROW by ENCOURAGING consumers TO buy A particular brand or TO CHOOSE THE services of A PARTICULAR COMPANY. Modern generationS ARE overwhelmed by THE amount of advertisING that SURROUNDS THEM. THE END RESULT IS THAT PEOPLE OFTEN buy things THEY DON'T ACTUALLY need. Moreover, sometimes people buy these UNNECESSARY products WITH money that they don’t have, using credit cards WHOSE EASY AVAILABILITY IS ALSO PROMOTED BY ADVERTISING. All this can lead to severe problems like THE recent credit card crisis in THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.
ADVERTISING's NEGATIVE INFLUENCE IS MOST KEENLY FELT BY THE YOUNG GENERATION. In their attempt TO KEEP UP TO DATE WITH FASHIONS, YOUTHS spend a lot of money and time which they could MORE PROFITABLY spend on EDUCATIONAL ACTIVITIES. Sometimes their choice of a future profession is also PROVOKED by advertisING. Many of them prefer to read GLAMOROUS magazines instead of NOVELS OR science periodicals. THIS "GLOSSY literature” determines their lifestyles.
To sum up I would say that I completely agree WITH THE PROPOSITION THAT HIGH SALES OF CONSUMER GOODS ARE PROMPTED BY ADVERTISING RATHER THAN BY THE GENUINE NEEDS OF SOCIETY.
I have made quite a few changes, and maybe the changes I have made mean that you no longer have 250 words, I do not know. Some of the changes I have made are quite 'sophisticated' and if you use them, it might appear that the work is not your own. If you are submitting this essay for a test or a grade, I think you should submit your original essay, with one or two changes (especially Glamorous for 'clamourous'). Just 'take mental note' of the expressions I have used.
In the second paragraph, you copy the same idea (people buy things they don't need), from the first paragraph. You should consider deleting this repetition.
Good luck with your IELTS !
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