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Thread: Why

  1. #1
    Bassim is offline Senior Member
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    Default Why

    Dear people
    Here is my new poem, would you please proofread it.

    Why


    Why a young woman at the bus stop cries?

    Love,

    Illness,

    A lost mobile phone?

    If we were in another country

    I would wipe her tears with my parched lips.

    Here, I do not dare.

    My hair is dark

    Her strawberry blond.

    My eyes the plough earth

    Hers the blue sky.

    The sun is shining

    The economy blooming

    But she is still crying

    And I do not dare to kiss her cheeks.

  2. #2
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Default Re: Why

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    Dear people
    Here is my new poem, would you please proofread it.

    Why


    Why does/is a young woman at the bus stop cry/crying?

    Love,

    Illness,

    A lost mobile phone?

    If we were in another country

    I would wipe erase her tears with my parched lips.

    Here, I do not dare.

    My hair is dark

    Hers strawberry blonde.

    My eyes the ploughed earth

    Hers the blue sky.

    The sun is shining

    The economy blooming

    But she is still crying

    And I do not dare to dare not kiss her cheeks.

  3. #3
    susiedqq is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: Why

    Just a suggestion . . .


    She Still Cries

    Young woman cries at the bus stop

    About love?

    Illness?

    A lost mobile phone?

    In another country

    I would wipe her tears with my parched lips.

    Here, I do not dare.

    My hair is dark

    Hers strawberry blonde.

    My eyes the ploughed earth

    Hers the blue sky.

    She still cries

    And I dare not kiss her cheek.

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