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  1. #1
    chudypig is offline Newbie
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    Default Can anyone help me review this motivation letter?

    Hi all.

    Can anyone help me review this letter? I'm applying to a university in UK.

    Dear Sir or Madam,

    I am a second year MSc student in computer science at the University of Amsterdam. I would like to submit my candidature for the PhD position “ABC” in the university of XYZ. With a Bachelor’s in Applied Mathematics and an MSc in Computer Science, I expect that the PhD position will contribute enormously to my future career plans. I also believe that I would be a valuable addition to your project and department.

    My interest in science dates back to my years in high school, where I excelled in mathematics and represented my school in the National Mathematics Contests. I was very delighted with two National Mathematics Awards when I was in the 9th class and 11th class. After graduating high school, I chose the Faculty of Applied Mathematics and Informatics, Hanoi University of Technology, the best technology university in my country. Among 3700 admitted students, I was selected as one of the 70 excellent students to attend a special center in my university, the Center for Training Excellent Students where I had chances to work with top Vietnamese professors and occasionally attend lectures given by international professors. Some of the courses that I took included Discrete Mathematics (two modules: basic and advanced), Algebra, Data Structures & Algorithms, Probability & Statistics Theory. In the third year, I participated in a project aiming to simulate the Shor’s factorization algorithm, a quantum algorithm that could break RSA cryptosystems. The experience in the project familiarized me with cryptography (especially about public key cryptosystems), quantum computing. It also helped me to build my personal skills of reading scientific papers, incorporating in teamwork environments. After the project, I joint a student group, led by Prof. Huy Trung Phan, aiming to build a tool for designing and simulating quantum circuits on classical computers. We succeeded in handling any circuit up to 35-40 qubits by using a distributed database system. As a result, our student team was awarded the first prize in the “Scientific Research Contest 2004” of Hanoi University of Technology and the third prize in the “Scientific Research Contest 2004” of the Ministry of Education and Training, Vietnam. We also had a chance to present our results at the Second Conference on Applications of Mathematics, Hanoi, Vietnam, 2005 and got a publication in the proceeding of the conference. At the end of the undergraduate program, I worked on the area of classical and quantum error correcting codes for my Bachelor thesis. I was also selected by Hanoi City Hall for the Laureate Student Prize, as one of the top 100 students in Hanoi.

    I continued to pursue my research career by moving to Amsterdam to follow an MSc program on computer science at the University of Amsterdam with financial support from the Huygens Scholarship awarded by the Dutch Ministry of Education, Culture and Science. My current academic focuses range over various aspects of grid/distributed computing, including but not limited to architectures, securities, authentications, so on. I really enjoyed the course “Coding and Complexity”, given by Prof. E. Wattel in the Free University of Amsterdam, where I had chances to expand my exposure to recent advances in coding, cryptography and complexity theories. Currently I am working on the area of simulation of quantum computing under supervision of Prof. Harry Buhrman in Center for Mathematics and Computer Science, the Netherlands.

    After the MSc program, I want to go further with a PhD program to deepen my knowledge. UCL is my desired place to make it. The reason is simple: UCL is a university which is famous not only in UK but also around the world. I am really interested in the research being conducted in the UCL Adastral Park Campus. Personally, I am interested in the following areas:
    · Security and Cryptography: I soon realized the extreme importance of security and cryptography in information systems, especially in internet-based activities when I worked on the first project in my undergraduate. These topics always attract my attention since then.
    · Quantum computing: this area inspires me due to its magical power and fundamental differences from classical computing. I also realize that security and cryptography in quantum setting are vastly studied recently.

    Personal characteristics of perseverance and diligence will sustain me in the UCL PhD program as well. Being born in a rural area of Vietnam, I started my independent life at the age of 18 when I moved to Hanoi to attend the Hanoi University of Technology. The new life in the capital gave me experience in adapting myself to a new environment. In two summers 2004 and 1005, I voluntarily participated in project “Rural Computerization”, organized by Hanoi City Hall, aiming to help people in rural suburb areas of Hanoi to get used to using computers and the internet. Going to Amsterdam was another challenge for me and I found I enjoyed the international academic environment at the University of Amsterdam and the social life outside. The life and professional experiences in Amsterdam will definitely support me in adapting to a new environment in Ipswich.

    My experience at the University of Amsterdam and previously at Hanoi University of Technology has taught me to coordinate my efforts with other highly motivated individuals. I am confident that background would serve me well on your department. I would appreciate the opportunity to discuss my qualifications and the PhD position in more detail.

    Thank you very much for your consideration.

    Yours Sincerely,


    Thank you very very much in advance

  2. #2
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: Can anyone help me review this motivation letter?

    Quote Originally Posted by chudypig View Post
    Dear Sir or Madam,

    I am a second year MSc student in computer science at the University of Amsterdam. I would like to submit my candidature for the PhD position “ABC” in the university of XYZ. With a Bachelor’s in Applied Mathematics and an MSc in Computer Science, I expect that the PhD position will contribute enormously to my future career plans. I also believe that I would be a valuable addition to your project and department.
    Dear Sir or Madam,

    I am a second year MSc student in computer science at the University of Amsterdam. I would like to submit my candidature for the PhD position “ABC” in the university of XYZ. With a Bachelor’s in Applied Mathematics and an MSc in Computer Science, I expect that the PhD position will contribute enormously to my career plans. I also believe that I would be a valuable addition to your department.
    So far, it looks like any changes would be relatively minor.


  3. #3
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: Can anyone help me review this motivation letter?

    Quote Originally Posted by chudypig View Post
    My interest in science dates back to my years in high school, where I excelled in mathematics and represented my school in the National Mathematics Contests.
    My interest in science dates back to my years in high school, where I excelled in mathematics and represented my school in the national mathematics contests.

  4. #4
    chudypig is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Can anyone help me review this motivation letter?

    Quote Originally Posted by RonBee View Post
    My interest in science dates back to my years in high school, where I excelled in mathematics and represented my school in the national mathematics contests.
    Thanks a lot, Ronbee. Could you continue with the rest of the letter?


    --Dzung

  5. #5
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: Can anyone help me review this motivation letter?

    Quote Originally Posted by chudypig View Post
    Hi all.

    Can anyone help me review this letter? I'm applying to a university in UK.
    That is fine. Also, it is not in red, and that is good.
    Quote Originally Posted by chudypig View Post
    I was very delighted with two National Mathematics Awards when I was in the 9th class and 11th class.
    I was very delighted to win two National Mathematics Awards when I was in the 9th class and the 11th class.

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