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    #1

    Aisha and Murad-part seven, Short story

    Please, would you proofread the seventh part of my short story

    Aisha strode towards him with the only one wish:to hit him in his face and tell him to pick up his bags and disappear from her life forever, but when she came so close to him that she could have given him a proper slap, he looked up at her with his childish eyes and her fury subsided at least for a few seconds.
    The shock which shook Murad's body could have been visible through his dropping of the mop and his stammering He wanted to say something, but the words would not leave his mouth in a flow, instead they were strangulated, transformed into a sad whimper. In the history of modern Turkey since their great leader Kamal Ataturk had proclaimed Turkey as a republic no other man had ever felt such a shame. He wished to be beaten, he hoped Aisha knocked out his all teeth, cut off his tongue and gouged out his eyes because to feel her gaze on him was much worse then any physical punishment.

    When he came back the same afternoon, he pleaded with her not to throw him out. He begged her to give him one more chance. He was ready to do whatever she wanted from him, dish washing, cleaning, cooking. He would pay the half of her rent and the whole electricity bill. Just let him stay and sleep beside her and he would be the happiest person in the world.

    They say that mercy is one of the greatest characteristics of human beings. A person who is not able to forgive will never have a peaceful sleep.
    Hatred takes so much energy from us, love and mercy make us bloom and Aisha wanted to bloom for many years on. She forgave him everything and he became tame like no other immigrant in Sweden. He cooked, vacuum cleaned and even washed the curtains at 30 Celsius degrees by hand. He also paid the half of the flat rent.

    When Aisha got a visit from her friends it was always Murad who served them coffee and drinks and even washed dishes. She was proud over herself. She got a lover, a servant, a cook and a cleaner and all that in a form of a nice body who could also tell jokes if she wanted.

    However, one day she got a telephone call from the boss of the housing company from which she rented her flat. He wanted her to come to his office. He had something important to talk with her. When Aisha arrived he asked her why she wanted to transfer her flat to a certain old Turkish woman called Halima who by a chance had the family name as his boyfriend Murad?
    "What an utter nonsense!" shouted Aisha suspecting Murad's hands again.
    The boss showed her a sheet of paper and her signature and she remembered vaguely that once when they drunk the whole night and she was tipsy Murad put in front of her a sheet of paper and asked her to sign it.
    He wanted to buy something on instalment and needed a surety he explained to her She remembered taking a pen given by him and signing down the paper without ever looking at it.

    She thanked the boss and returned to his flat, determined that this time she would throw him out no matter what he said. She made a scene. She shouted so loud that all her neighbours heard her. He threatened him with the police. He could end up in prison. He was swine who had abused her hospitality.
    He listened to her in silence, he did not even try to vindicate himself. He behaved like a swine, but still she loved her more than anything. He was waiting for evening to come and the bed time. He knew that sex was his best weapon.
    However, nobody could have persuaded Aisha to sleep in the same bed with him again. The first night she slept in the sofa in the living room and the all following nights. She told him she could have called the police and they would do their job within a few seconds, especially when there was an immigrant who was causing the troubles, but she wanted to give him a chance to leave her flat in a dignified manner. She waited for one week and the second one she went in the centre searching for two Turks who would do that "unpleasant" job. She already knew a taxi driver who drove her many times to the airport when she was in a hurry. She explained to him everything from the begining and the taxi driver was so glad that she asked him for help. "Let's Turks deal with Turks, he said.

    He had another Turk with him, a tall and strong butcher when they knocked at Aishas flat. Murad was playing video games on his computer and could not utter a word when two men stand over him telling him to pick up his bags and never come back. Otherwise, the taxi driver said to him he knew his brothers and the rest of his family in Turkey. He would tell everyone how he misbehaved, how he brought shame on his family name.

    Murad started to cry and reluctantly gathered his belongings. He knew well what it meant to bring shame on his own family. It was the worst possible crime, much worse than killing. He was still crying when he left the flat, carrying his two begs in both hands. Aisha watched him out of her window when he crossed the street and got into his car. She was crying too. From the stereo Khaled was moaning, "I don't want anything but love..."
    The white Volvo drove off and disappeared into a grey, monotonous Swedish autumn day.

    THE END


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
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    #2

    Re: Aisha and Murad-part seven, Short story

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    Please, would you proofread the seventh part of my short story

    Aisha strode towards him with only one wish: to hit him in the face and tell him to pick up his bags and disappear from her life forever, but when she came so close to him that she could have given him a proper slap, he looked up at her with his childish eyes and her fury subsided at least for a few seconds.

    The shock which shook Murad's body was visible through his dropping of the mop and his stammering. He wanted to say something, but the words would not leave his mouth. Instead they were strangulated, transformed into a sad whimper. In the whole history of modern Turkey, ever since their great leader Kamal Ataturk had proclaimed Turkey to be a republic, no other man had ever felt such a shame. He wished to be beaten, he hoped Aisha would knock out all his teeth, cut off his tongue and gouge out his eyes because to feel her gaze on him was much worse then any physical punishment.

    When he came back the same afternoon, he pleaded with her not to throw him out. He begged her to give him one more chance. He was ready to do whatever she wanted from him - dish washing, cleaning, cooking. He would pay half the rent and the whole electricity bill. Just let him stay and sleep beside her and he would be the happiest person in the world.

    They say that mercy is one of the greatest characteristics of human beings. A person who is not able to forgive will never have a peaceful sleep.
    Hatred takes so much energy from us, love and mercy make us bloom and Aisha wanted to bloom for many years on. She forgave him everything and he became tame like no other immigrant in Sweden. He cooked, vacuumed, the half of the flat rent. cleaned and even washed the curtains at 30 Celsius degrees by hand. He also paid half of the flat's rent.

    When Aisha got a visit from her friends friends came to visit, it was always Murad who served them coffee and drinks and even washed dishes. She was proud over herselfAisha was pleased with herself. She had got a lover, a servant, a cook and a cleaner and all that in a form of a nice body who could also tell jokes if she wanted.

    However, one day she got a telephone call from the boss of the housing company from which she rented her flat. He wanted her to come to his office. He had something important to discuss with her. When Aisha arrived, he asked her why she wanted to transfer her flat to a certain old Turkish woman called Halima who by a chance had the same family name as her boyfriend Murad?

    "What utter nonsense!" shouted Aisha, suspecting Murad immediately.
    The boss showed her a sheet of paper with her signature and she remembered vaguely that once, when they had been drinking and she was tipsy, Murad had put in front of her a sheet of paper and asked her to sign it, saying that he wanted to buy something on instalment and needed a surety. She remembered taking a pen and signing the paper without ever looking at it.

    She thanked the boss and returned to her flat, determined that this time she would throw Murad out, no matter what he said. She made a scene. She shouted so loudly that all her neighbours heard her. She threatened him with the police. He could end up in prison. He was a swine who had abused her hospitality. He listened to her in silence, he did not even try to vindicate himself. He had behaved like a swine, but still he loved her more than anything. He was waiting for evening to come and bed time. He knew that sex was his best weapon.

    However, nobody could have persuaded Aisha to sleep in the same bed with him again. That night she slept on the sofa in the living room, and all following nights. She told him she could have called the police and they would do their job within a few seconds, especially when there was an immigrant who was causing the troubles, but she wanted to give him a chance to leave her flat in a dignified manner. She waited for one week, but when he did not go, she went to the centre searching for two Turks who would do that "unpleasant" job. She already knew a taxi driver who drove her many times to the airport when she was in a hurry. She explained to him everything from the beginning and the taxi driver wasgratified that she asked him for help. "Let Turks deal with Turks," he said.

    He had another Turk with him, a tall and strong butcher, when he knocked on the door to Aisha's flat. Murad was playing video games on his computer and did not utter a word when two men stand over him telling him to pack his bags and never come back. Otherwise, the taxi driver said, he knew his brothers and the rest of his family in Turkey. He would tell everyone how he misbehaved, how he brought shame on his family name.

    Murad started to cry and reluctantly gathered his belongings. He knew well what it meant to bring shame on his own family. It was the worst possible crime, much worse than killing. He was still crying when he left the flat, carrying his two bags. Aisha watched out of her window as he crossed the street and got into his car. She was crying too. From the stereo Khaled was moaning, "I don't want anything but love..."

    The white Volvo drove off and disappeared into a grey, monotonous Swedish autumn day.

    THE END
    .

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