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  1. #1
    Maluues is offline Junior Member
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    Default Arthur Miller's Death of a Salesman

    Good evening.


    Could you correct the following text of mine? (should it be mine or me...xD?)
    I would be very thankful.



    Why does not Willy accept the job Charley is offering him?



    Although Willy Loman , a traveling salesman in his sixties whose life has been marked by Dave Singleman a salesman who has had great success in life and the idea of the “American Dream”, he does not achieve the same results as his neighbor Charley , a large unimpressive man about Willy’s age and father of Biff’s schoolmate Bernard.
    After the conversation between Willy and Bernard Charley enters telling Willy that Bernard is going to argue a case in front of the Supreme Court which stands for great success in life.
    Shocked by the fact that Bernard has not even mentioned it Willy asks Charley if he has ever told him to do so although he knows the answer.
    This is one of many characteristics which differs Charley from Willy since this whenver there has been an opportunity has tried to help his favourite son Biff where possible.
    Hereupon Charley offers Willy a job with a salary of fifty dollars a week which Willy does not accep although it is exactly the payment he asked Howard for and he has not a job anymore.
    Summarizing Willy’s characteristics it is clear why Willy will not accept Charle’s offer.
    Firstly we should examine Willy’s way of life who is like I have already mentioned a person who is marked by the philosophy of the “American Dream” which says that a person who works hard will earn great success ignoring important circumstances.
    Willy who is besotted with this idea works hard all his life and gets fired after so many years of keen work by a person he has named.
    Secondly there is the aspect of wanting the best for his sons. Charley who has never done anything for Bernard has a son with a great job a wife and two sons in fact all the whereas Willy who has worked all his life very hard has two sons with no real plans for the future so that Charley has exactly reached the goals Willy wanted to reach although he has not ever taken interest in anything.
    This facts make Willy jealous and hurt his pride because he realizes that his life’s philosophy gets destroyed after so many works of keen work without even earning a bit of success so Willy does not accept Charley’s offering and thinks about killing himself.

  2. #2
    Maluues is offline Junior Member
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    Default Re: Arthur Miller's Death of a Salesman

    Could anybody correct this text? I would be very thankful.

    Greetings Maluues

  3. #3
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Default Re: Arthur Miller's Death of a Salesman

    Quote Originally Posted by Maluues View Post
    Good evening.


    Could you correct the following text of mine? (should it be mine or me...xD?) "my text"
    I would be very thankful.grateful



    Why does Willy not accept the job Charley is offering him?



    Although Willy Loman , a traveling salesman in his sixties whose life has been marked by Dave Singleman, a salesman who has had great success in life, and the idea of the “American Dream”, he does not achieve the same results as his neighbor Charley , a large unimpressive man about Willy’s age and father of Biff’s schoolmate Bernard.
    After the conversation between Willy and Bernard, Charley enters, telling Willy that Bernard is going to argue a case in front of the Supreme Court which stands for great success in life.
    Shocked by the fact that Bernard has not even mentioned it, Willy asks Charley if he has ever told him to do so although he knows the answer.
    This is one of many characteristics which differs differentiates Charley from Willy since this whenever there has been an opportunity, he has tried to help his favourite son Biff where possible.omit
    Hereupon Charley offers Willy a job with a salary of fifty dollars a week which Willy does not accept although it is exactly the payment he asked Howard [Who is Howard? You have note mentioned him before] for and he has now no job.
    Summarizing Willy’s characteristics, it is clear why Willy will not accept Charley’s offer.
    Firstly we should examine Willy’s way of life who is like I have already mentioned a person who is marked by the philosophy of the “American Dream” which says that a person who works hard will earn great success ignoring important circumstances. Needs re-writing. There is more than one sentence in this.
    Willy, who is besotted with this idea, works hard all his life and gets fired after so many years of keen work by a person he has named.
    Secondly, there is the aspect of wanting the best for his sons. Charley, who has never done anything for Bernard, has a son with a great job, a wife and two sons - in fact all the [all the what?] whereas Willy, who has worked very hard all his life, has two sons with no real plans for the future so that Charley has exactly reached the goals Willy wanted to reach although he has not ever taken interest in anything.
    This facts This fact/These facts make Willy jealous and hurt his pride because he realizes that his life’s philosophy has been destroyed after so many years of keen work without even earning a bit of success, so Willy does not accept Charley’s offering and thinks about killing himself.
    It needs some work doing on it.

  4. #4
    Maluues is offline Junior Member
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    Default Re: Arthur Miller's Death of a Salesman

    Hey Anglika.
    Thanks for your correction.
    We haven't learned where to use punctation yet.
    Whenever there is a letter missing it is the fault of my keyboard :).

    Firstly we should examine Willy’s way of life who is like I have already mentioned a person who is marked by the philosophy of the “American Dream” which says that a person who works hard will earn great success ignoring important circumstances.

    Do you have any ideas how I could re-write this sentence?
    If I seperate this sentence my language will suffer under this because I have no idea of how to connect the emerging parts.

    Greetings Maluues

  5. #5
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Default Re: Arthur Miller's Death of a Salesman

    Firstly we should examine Willy’s way of life.

    As I have already mentioned, Willy is a person who is marked by the philosophy of the “American Dream”, which says that a person who works hard will achieve great success whatever the circumstances.

  6. #6
    Maluues is offline Junior Member
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    Default Re: Arthur Miller's Death of a Salesman

    It has been this easy? Oh my god :D.
    Thank you Anglika. You are the best!

    Greetings Maluues

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