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  1. onetwothree's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • French
      • Home Country:
      • France
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jul 2007
    • Posts: 191
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    #1

    Admission essay.

    Hello all!
    I have to write an admission essay in order to be accepted by a high school.
    The essay questions are :
    " Why do you want to attend our school?
    What contributions will you make to our school?"

    Could anyone please help me with this? Please tell me some main points which should be included in the essay. Also, please give me the outlines for this essay.
    Thank you very much.

    ==============
    One more thing, they also asked me to fill out and answer some questions :

    1) Describe your hobbies and any major accomplishments, including position of leadership. _________________________________________________
    2) My greatest talent is: _______________________________________
    3)I am happiest when: __________________________________________
    4) I would like to be better at:___________________________________ ( I don't really understand this one.)

    Do you think it'll be OK if I write like this: (please correct them for me)

    1) Describe your hobbies and any major accomplishments, including position of leadership: I have many hobbies. Among them, reading books and playing sports are the two ones I like most. Besides, I am also interested in solving the Rubik's cube and playing chess. About the leadership, I am the monitor in my class whose duties is to help other students with their lessons if they don't understand them or to be the tutor for underdeveloped students.
    2) My greatest talent is: the ability to type many long document papers in a relatedly short time and to design very cute theme for blog.
    3) I am happiest when: I have just done something meaningful for others. Besides, also am I happiest when I can do something unique or difficult that others cannot do.
    4) I would like to be better at: ...
    I am not sure what they meant by this. Do they mean "Which school subject or something do you want to be better at?" ?
    If so, is it ok to write : I would like to be better at learning foreign languages so that I could be able to communicate with people all over the world.
    ===========================
    I would be grateful if you help me.

  2. Soup's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Canada
      • Current Location:
      • China

    • Join Date: Sep 2007
    • Posts: 5,892
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    #2

    Re: Admission essay.

    Hi onetwothree

    Essay topic: Tell them why you chose their school. What do they have that you feel you will benefit from, both academically and personally? How are they different from other schools? What kind of programs do they have? How can you contribute to those programs (e.g., the school's website)?


    4) I would like to be better at: ...
    I would like to be better at learning foreign languages so that I could be able to communicate with people all over the world.

    Is there something else that you feel you need to improve, say, writing or math, or so on? If so, why do you feel you need to improve and how can the school help you do that?

    The rest of the application looks good.



  3. onetwothree's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • French
      • Home Country:
      • France
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jul 2007
    • Posts: 191
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #3

    Re: Admission essay.

    Hi SOUP!
    Thank you very much for your reply. Well, could you please give me some more points especially for answering to the question : "What contributions will you make to our school?" ?

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