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Thread: The dowry

  1. #1
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    The dowry

    Hi dear teachers. I wrote this topic to improve my writing skills. It's about a dowry and marriage. Hope to check my writing. Thanks in advance.


    Marriage is an institution which can join tow persons with each other. It allows them to have sex, to love each other, to share their thoughts to each other and to have children.

    Marriage is sanctioned with a government, society and religion. In my country, girls should get married when they passed eighteen years old. And for sure to have sex and children. And it's odd if any girl decided to have a man after twenty years old.

    A man should give a dowry to a girl who will be his wife. Giving a dowry to a girl shows her value and importance especially if she was virgin. But even so, not all of girls care about it if they only need love. dowry creates a lot of problems here if it was so expensive and excessive. Some families put a dowry as the most fundamental condition. They ask a groom a lot of money for a girl and for her parents as well.

    So it costs an arm and a leg if any man thinks about getting married to any girl. This request makes men abstain from getting married which makes girls worried about their future and futuristic life especialy girls who want their men to love them not to have all those money.

    By other word, and in relation to the expensive dowry, a family of the girl shouldn't ask a groom over his ability.

    Finally, I hope to find a man who loves me so much and who gives me a money as well.
    4/5 May
    Last edited by Devil's tear; 04-May-2008 at 12:16.

  2. #2
    Khalid79 is offline Junior Member
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    Re: The dowry

    Hi Dear , i tried my best to help you in this ! but still not sure if all your punctuation below is correct !
    Hi dear teachers. I wrote this topic to improve my writing skills. It's about a dowry and marriage. Hope to check my writing. Thanks in advance.


    Marriage is an institution through which two persons can join each other. It allows them to have sex, love each other, share their thoughts with each other , and have children.

    Marriage is sanctioned with a government, society and religion. In my country, girls should get married after they have passed eighteen years old. And for sure to have sex and children. And it would odd if any girl decided to have a man after twenty years old.

    A man should give a dowry to a girl who will be his wife. Giving a dowry to a girl shows her value and importance especially if she was virgin. But even so, not all of the girls care about it if they only need love. dowry creates a lot of problems here if it was so expensive and excessive. Some families put a dowry as the most fundamental condition. They ask a groom to pay a lot of money not only for the bride but also for her parents .

    So it costs an arm and a leg if any man thinks about getting married to any girl. This request makes men abstain from getting married which makes girls worry about their future and futuristic life especialy those who want their men to love them not to have all those money.

    By other word, and in relation to the expensive dowry, a family of the girl shouldn't ask a groom over his ability.

    Finally, I hope to find a man who loves me so much and who gives me a money as well. Iwish i weren't married !

  3. #3
    RonBee's Avatar
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    Re: The dowry

    This is better than a lot of essays I have seen here. But there is still room for improvement.


    Quote Originally Posted by Devil's tear View Post
    Hi dear teachers. I wrote this essay to improve my writing skills. It's about a dowry and marriage. Please check my writing.



    Quote Originally Posted by Devil's tear View Post
    Marriage is an institution which can join two persons with each other. It allows them to have sex, to love each other, to share their thoughts to each other and to have children.
    Marriage is an institution which joins two people together. It allows them to have sex, to love each other, to share their thoughts with each other and to have children.
    Normally, when we want to make a plural out of person we say people. The word persons is normally used in such very formal contexts as legal documents.

    Quote Originally Posted by Devil's tear View Post
    Marriage is sanctioned with by government, society, and religion. In my country, girls should get married when they reach eighteen years of age. And for sure she should have sex and have children. And it's odd if any girl waits till she's twenty years old to get married.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devil's tear View Post
    A man should give a dowry to the girl who will be his wife. (Or: A man should give a dowry to the girl he is going to marry.) Giving a dowry to a girl shows her value and importance especially if she is a virgin. But even so, not all girls care about it getting a dowry if they only need love. A dowry creates a lot of problems here if it is too expensive and excessive. Some families require a dowry as the most fundamental condition for marriage. They ask the groom (and his parents) a lot of money for a girl.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devil's tear View Post
    It costs a man an arm and a leg to get to married to any girl.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devil's tear View Post
    That makes men abstain from getting married, which makes girls worry about their futures, especially girls who want their men to love them more than they want the money.


    Quote Originally Posted by Devil's tear View Post
    In other words, and in relation to the expensive dowry, a family of the girl shouldn't ask a groom over his ability.
    They shouldbn't ask him to pay beyond his ability?

    Quote Originally Posted by Devil's tear View Post
    Finally, I hope to find a man who loves me very much and who gives me a money as well.
    4/5 May
    The best of both worlds?

  4. #4
    rj1948 is offline Senior Member
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    Re: The dowry

    Improve your English .You are sure of finding a good husband andyou can leave belly dancing

  5. #5
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    Re: The dowry

    Correction:
    Finally, I hope to find a man who loves me very much and who gives me money as well.

  6. #6
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    Re: The dowry

    Decide what changes you want to make, then post the revised essay here.

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    Re: The dowry

    Oh my God RonBee thank you so so so much for your great correction and your phrase:
    This is better than a lot of essays I have seen here.
    I relly appreciate it
    from a native. Because I've worked hard to write goodly.

    The best of both worlds?
    For sure he should be the best. But only in my eyes.


    Khalid79
    Thanks a bunch man for your reply.

    Iwish i weren't married !
    Unfortunately, but can I be your second wife? hahahshshuahah. Say hi to your wife.

    rj1948
    Dear I don't want to leave belly dancing. It's my soul and emotion. And of course it'll be for my husband. How lucky is my husband.


    Thanks for all of you. I'm so so so happy.

  8. #8
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    Re: The dowry

    Quote Originally Posted by Devil's tear View Post
    Oh my God RonBee thank you so so so much for your great correction and your phrase: I relly appreciate it

    from a native. Because I've worked hard to write goodly.
    .....to write it well. Sorry, I could not resist.

    Thanks for all of you. I'm so so so happy.
    We are happy for you!
    d

  9. #9
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    Re: The dowry

    Quote Originally Posted by Devil's tear View Post
    Oh my God RonBee thank you so so so much for your great correction and your phrase: I relly appreciate it

    from a native. Because I've worked hard to write goodly.




    Thanks to all of you. I'm so so so happy.
    Say:
    to write well, or
    to do a good job of writing
    You're quite welcome.


    (Eventually, you might be a person helping others.)

  10. #10
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    Re: The dowry

    banderas
    You know, I enjoy when I see you help me. So keep your fedback. Thank you so much.

    RonBee
    Thank you very much.

    (Eventually, you might be a person helping others.)
    I hope so, maybe someday who knows?

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