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  1. #1
    Bassim is offline Senior Member
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    Default Home care worker - part five, Short story

    Please, would you proofread my text

    We walked in silence for a while to the place where river bent to the right. Kristina stopped and said that we should go back because she felt her knee would not bear her.
    "You know," she said, "I visited your homeland in the early seventies. I was playing a little role in a partisan film. They needed an actress who would play a German Nazi prison guard. I was dressed in a black uniform with Nazi insignia. My hair was combed back and twisted into a bun. I was brandishing a leather whip and beating poor partisans who were taken to the place of execution, shouting at the same time, "Go on bandits! Hurry up!"

    "So, you are an actress?
    "I was not as big as Ingrid Bergman. My roles were usually not longer then thirty seconds. I played flight attendants, shop assistants, nurses and even prostitutes. I also took part in some TV commercials chewing biscuits and using a new washing powder. You know, at that time blondes were very popular."

    "Please, tell me how did you begin?"
    "In the early fifties I went to the USA to visit my aunt in California. I was bored with Sweden and wanted to see other parts of the world. My aunt owned a restaurant and I started to work there, serving people food and drinks until one day a middle aged man sat at his table and after he had paid for his meal said to me, "Girl, you are looking great! Would you like to be an actress?" Until that day I hardly watched films and did not know what to answer. I did not know what acting mean as a profession. I was just an ordinary, shy Swedish girl who spoke English with the Swedish accent and blushed whenever someone gave me a compliment. But the man insisted that everything would be fine and I accepted."

    "My first role was in a gangster film. I played a waitress in a night club teeming with all kind of criminals. I was serving people in dark clothes with hats on their heads, while they were smoking thick cigars and playing poker. In one moment a door burst open and the gangs started shooting at each other."
    "Soon I got more roles in other films and stopped to serve patrons in my aunt's restaurant. Two years later, I met a producer of B-films who said to me, "I like your Scandinavian coldness. You seem so distant. Since I saw you for the first time I cannot forget you. Please, marry me!" He had a big house with a pool and a beautiful vista over the Ocean. And I was so stupid and believed him every word. Seven months after our marriage, I discovered he had a lover. She was also an actress but better known then myself. I was devastated when I found her letters in our house. They had an affair months before he had married me. I divorced and came back to Europe. I promised myself not to make the same mistake again."

    "Once in Italy, I was acting in a Spaghetti Western. We had a dinner with our sponsors and one of them was Giulio. He was a nice man in his thirties, he talked so much as almost all Italians and gesticulated wildly whenever he wanted to explain something. He had his own company which he inherited from his father and now shared with his two brothers.
    "Bellissima," he said, "you are so beautiful that my eyes hurt me when I am looking at you!" The same night we ended up in his bedroom and two weeks later he married me. I gave birth to two daughters and lived a happy marriage until he died of a heart attack. Poor Giulio, he never listened to me when I told him he should not work all the time.
    After he had died I decided to move back to Sweden. At least, I want to die in my homeland."
    We came back to her block and took the lift up to the third floor. Before she entered her flat she looked at me friendly in the eyes saying, "Thank you for today. It was very interesting to talk to you."

    To be continued...

  2. #2
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Default Re: Home care worker - part five, Short story

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    Please, would you proofread my text

    We walked in silence for a while to the place where the river bent to the right. Kristina stopped and said that we should go back because she felt her knee would not bear her for much longer.
    "You know," she said, "I visited your homeland in the early seventies. I was playing a little role in a partisan film. They needed an actress who would play a German Nazi prison guard. I was dressed in a black uniform with Nazi insignia. My hair was combed back and twisted into a bun. I was brandishing a leather whip and beating poor partisans who were taken to the place of execution, shouting at the same time, 'Go on bandits! Hurry up!'."
    "So, you are an actress?
    "I was not as big as Ingrid Bergman. My roles were usually not longer then thirty seconds. I played flight attendants, shop assistants, nurses and even prostitutes. I also took part in some TV commercials chewing biscuits and using a new washing powder. You know, at that time blondes were very popular."
    "Please, tell me how did you begin?"
    "In the early fifties I went to the USA to visit my aunt in California. I was bored with Sweden and wanted to see other parts of the world. My aunt owned a restaurant and I started to work there, serving people food and drinks until one day a middle aged man sat at his table and after he had paid for his meal said to me, 'Girl, you are looking great! Would you like to be an actress?' Until that day I hardly watched films and did not know what to answer. I did not know what acting mean as a profession. I was just an ordinary, shy Swedish girl who spoke English with a Swedish accent and blushed whenever someone paid me a compliment. But the man insisted that everything would be fine and I accepted.
    "My first role was in a gangster film. I played a waitress in a night club teeming with all kind of criminals. I was serving people in dark clothes with hats on their heads, while they were smoking thick cigars and playing poker. Then a door burst open and the gangs started shooting at each other.
    "Soon I got more roles in other films and stopped working in my aunt's restaurant. Two years later, I met a producer of B-films who said to me, 'I like your Scandinavian coldness. You seem so distant. Since I saw you for the first time I cannot forget you. Please, marry me!' He had a big house with a pool and a beautiful vista over the Ocean. And I was so stupid and believed him every word. Seven months after our marriage, I discovered he had a lover. She was also an actress but better known than myself. I was devastated when I found her letters in our house. They had been having an affair months before he had married me. I divorced and came back to Europe. I promised myself not to make the same mistake again.
    "Once in Italy, I was acting in a spaghetti western. We had a dinner with our sponsors and one of them was Giulio. He was a nice man in his thirties, he talked so much as almost all Italians do and gesticulated wildly whenever he wanted to explain something. He had his own company which he inherited from his father and now shared with his two brothers.
    'Bellissima,' he said, 'you are so beautiful that my eyes hurt me when I am looking at you!' The same night we ended up in his bedroom and two weeks later he married me. I gave birth to two daughters and lived a happy marriage until he died of a heart attack. Poor Giulio, he never listened to me when I told him he should not work all the time.
    "After he had died I decided to move back to Sweden. I want to die in my homeland."
    We came back to her block and took the lift up to the third floor. Before she entered her flat she looked me in the eyes, saying, "Thank you for today. It was very interesting to talk to you."

    To be continued...
    .

    When you write a person's dialogue over several paragraphs, you use a quotation mark at the start of each paragraph, and only a closing mark when you reach the end of the speech. Also, when quoting other people within these paragraphs, use single quote marks.

  3. #3
    Bassim is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Home care worker - part five, Short story

    Anglika

    Thank you very much for your help and your explanations. Finally, I have learnt how to use the quotations marks.

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