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  1. #1
    jomo27's Avatar
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    Default Movement of people (Migration)

    This is a 1000 words essay. It's an assignment given by my teacher.

    Anyway, he allows us to ask somebody to help or edit the essay.

    So could you please help me.

    Thanks a lot!

    *Comments and suggestions are needed.
    Attached Files Attached Files

  2. #2
    RonBee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Movement of people (Migration)

    Re:
    People decide to migrate for simple or complex reasons, and migration can occur as a result of either push or pull factors.
    Here's where you should explain what push and pull factors are.

    Good title! You do need a different lead sentence.


  3. #3
    jomo27's Avatar
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    Default Re: Movement of people (Migration)

    Thanks for the correction.

    If you don't mind, please check all over the essay.

    I really want my essay to be pure edited.

  4. #4
    RonBee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Movement of people (Migration)

    If you post it on the forum you will get more responses. (Not everybody will open attachments. I usually don't do so myself.)

    It's past my bedtime (10:38PM here). I've got to go.


  5. #5
    jomo27's Avatar
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    Default Re: Movement of people (Migration)

    Factually, people are on the move all the time. People decide to migrate for simple or complex reasons, and it can occur as a result of push and pull factors. They may be moving voluntarily or compulsorily, and it can be permanent or temporary. The movement of people can be internal or external migration. Internal migration is the movement of people inside the country. And whereas external migration is the movement of people outside the country, which means moving to another country or can be called international migration. Migration has an impact on the place that has been left behind by the migrant and also on the place that they are migrating to. These impacts can be both positive and negative. Actually, not only humans are moving, animals too, and it’s called animal migration. But it’s not sounds common.

    There are many reasons why people are moving, and some of the reasons are really common. For examples, natural disasters, better living conditions, job opportunities, poverty and war, and so on. In fact, there are quite a lot of strong reasons why they are leaving their country they live. Firstly, it can be of fearing of their lives because of religious or ethnic persecution. For instance, in Indonesia. As we know, a long time ago, there were many Chinese people moving to Indonesia in order to find better living conditions. Furthermore, they stayed up there and started creating big families and keep increasing until now. In the mean time, the population of Chinese people in Indonesia is only 3% of the population. Unfortunately, there are some Chinese-Indonesians trying to move to another country because of the religious and ethnic persecution. They feel that living in Indonesia makes them feel in feared. Truly, some Indonesians don’t like Chinese people. Moreover, Indonesians think that all the Chinese who live in Indonesia are rich, and actually it is not always. Some Chinese are also poor and some of their lives may be uglier than them. In this case, it would be a push factor

    Secondly, family links. As I mentioned above, it could be that the one who moves to Indonesia has families in China. Hence, they may be felt solitude and nothing without their families. As a result, they may be moving back to their native country in order to get together with their families. In this case, it would be a pull factor. Another example is, when a person moves to another country to find a better job, he/she would get a homesick and probably move back to his/her native country.

    Thirdly, is the enjoyment. Some people who are rich enough, they move to a developed country to live for the entire of their life. They think that by spending their time in a developed country would be much more enjoying rather than staying in a developing country or native country. With good economical, political and environmental, they might live happily. Moreover, they are rich, so they can do anything they want. In addition, with better education, living conditions, medical treatment and technologies, they will get high satisfaction. Therefore, their children and grandchildren may also stay there until they find another better place to live. There are many developed countries which are really popular to live, such as Australia, America, Europe, Japan, etc. In this case, it would be a pull factor. However, there is also a part where people only move for holidays or vacation. They may move temporarily to find a satisfaction or enjoyment. Usually it’s influenced by seasons change.

    On the other hand, there are also impacts due to the movement of people. One of those is the change of the population both the migrants country’ and the country they move. This may change the number of population and could also bring bad effects to both the countries. The population in the country they left will decline and losing their people which may lead to increases of job fields. Besides, the other country where all the people come will get the population increased. This may lead to bad problems, such as, unemployment, crimes, overcrowd, etc. With many jobless people, they would do anything in order to get money; in this case, the level of crimes will rise. Since there are many people in the area, the number of people will increase and be overcrowded. Apart from it, there is also a mixing of different cultures and races, which may lead to negative social behaviors and tensions in society between majorities and minorities, followed often by local struggles and racism and racial discrimination. It is also some positive cultural effects of migration, for example exchange of cultural experience, new knowledge and so on. Deeply, in may bring a good economical condition, for instance, if the country is lacking of workers, the comers will be the workers for them and it’s benefiting to both of them. The firms get more workers and the comers get a job.

    Lastly, migration can be also animal migration, where animals are being moved around the world. By doing this, all different types of animals in the world are being mixed and combined each other. Hopefully, it might create something new. However, some animals are not really stable in some seasons or condition; therefore, animals like penguins are usually live in the cold side, for instance, Antarctica. For some reasons, some of them are being brought for an experimental thing or even cloning.

    In conclusion, I think migration usually happens in developing countries, where people are moving to any developed countries to find better living conditions and security. But sometimes, people in developed countries are also moving to any developing countries in order to have a low cost of living. Most of the factors happening in developing countries are like lack of jobs, wars, crimes, poverty. And in developed countries are usually like, high cost of living. In my opinion, I think migration it’s a good way to mix people by races, religious, cultures, education, and even backgrounds. But sometimes it may also destroy the country’ cultures and may create conflicts between those differences.

    Please help me!

    Edit my essay.

  6. #6
    RonBee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Movement of people (Migration)

    Quote Originally Posted by jomo27 View Post
    Factually, people are on the move all the time. People decide to migrate for simple or complex reasons, and it can occur as a result of push and pull factors.
    This is about migration both within a country and from country to country. People decide to migrate for simple or complex reasons, and migration can occur as a result of push factors or pull factors. Push factors are what make a person decide to leave a certain area. Pull factors are what make a person want to move to a certain area.
    I had to guess what push and pull factors are, but you shouldn't make your reader do that.


  7. #7
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    Default Re: Movement of people (Migration)

    jomo, I tried to respond to your PM but I received the following message: jomo27 has chosen not to receive private messages or may not be allowed to receive private messages. Therefore you may not send your message to him/her.

    Good luck with your essay!

    Cheers,
    Amigo

  8. #8
    RonBee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Movement of people (Migration)

    Quote Originally Posted by jomo27 View Post
    They may be moving voluntarily or compulsorily, and it can be permanent or temporary.
    The migration may be voluntary or compulsory, and it can be permanent or temporary.
    Can you cite some instances of compulsory migration?

    ~R

  9. #9
    RonBee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Movement of people (Migration)

    Quote Originally Posted by jomo27 View Post
    The movement of people can be internal or external migration. Internal migration is the movement of people inside the country. And whereas external migration is the movement of people outside the country, which means moving to another country or can be called international migration.
    Migration can be either internal migration or external migration. Internal migration is the movement of people inside a country. External migration is the movement of people from one country to another. (External migration can also be called international migration.)

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Movement of people (Migration)

    Quote Originally Posted by RonBee View Post
    The migration may be voluntary or compulsory, and it can be permanent or temporary.
    Can you cite some instances of compulsory migration?

    ~R
    From answers.com:
    "While voluntary migration refers to unforced movements, compulsory migration describes the expulsion of minorities from their country of birth by governments, or by warring factions. In the 1970s Asians were expelled from Uganda and Kenya, and the 1990s saw ‘ethnic cleansing’ in the former Yugoslavia."

    RonBee, might we be able to say that the forced relocation of Native Americans during westward expansion is a classic example of compulsory migration?

    Cheers,
    Amigo

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