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  1. new2grammar's Avatar
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    #1

    Kindly check this for grammar!!!

    Welcome to a world of elegance, Balmain Watches, from the stable of the world’s largest watch-making conglomerate, the Swatch Group. Extreme elegance and irreproachable quality: the world of Balmain is unique.

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    #2

    Re: Kindly check this for grammar!!!

    Welcome to a world of elegance, Balmain Watches, from the stable of the world’s largest watch-making conglomerate, the Swatch Group. Extreme elegance and irreproachable quality: the world of Balmain is unique.

    This is clearly advertising copy - there's nothing really wrong with the grammar, but the punctuation and choice of words could perhaps be improved. This depends on how the message is displayed and the context.

    Irreproachable is not a a well-used word so doesn't immediately communicate the meaning. I'm not sure what is meant by The world of Balmain is unique. Everything is unique, so why not come up with some other aspirational statement such as The world of Balmain is your world.

    I would do something like this:

    Welcome to a world of elegance

    From the stable of the world’s largest watch-making conglomerate, the Swatch Group, Balmain Watches represent extreme elegance and ultimate quality.

    The world of Balmain is your world

    Note that I've omitted as much punctuation as possible - each style change gives the emphasis and pauses you need.

    Hope this helps.

    Dave

  2. new2grammar's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Kindly check this for grammar!!!

    Thanks Dave for your kind help. It really helped me lot to laern and understand it in-depth
    Last edited by new2grammar; 16-May-2008 at 08:20.


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    #4

    Re: Kindly check this for grammar!!!

    I would suggest 'impeccable' for 'ultimate'
    Everything nowadays, from my Mach4 razor on, and its 'ultimate shaving experience', is touted as such.
    'impeccable' is associated with how a sophisticated, cosmopolitan gentleman is turned out, from his suit to his silk tie to his shoes to his watch.

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    #5

    Re: Kindly check this for grammar!!!

    Sorry for the delay, David L.

    Splendid choice of word, old chap!

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