'According to the manufacturer’s brochure, Tonsiotren is effective for inflammatory throat and sinusitis. To that extent, the ingredients in the product support their claim. But a full-page advertisement in the September 9, 2004 issue of the Dawn Review made five more claims, obviously to expand the user base. One was its effectiveness against dwarfism. Another was its usefulness in increasing appetite. These claims are the most ludicrous I have ever read, for none of the product's four ingredients has been shown through valid scientific studies to either help against dwarfism or affect appetite. Promoting medicines with false claims is not a new phenomenon. But when companies who announce “strict adherence to good manufacturing practice and ethical marketing policy” fall in line with the most gluttonous makers of homoeopathic medicine, the consumers may well consider that it is better to suffer without medication rather than do so while taking the wrong medicine.'
Generally very well done, Abusaad. Remember that the revision process is primarily one of eliminating unnecessary text which would weaken the impact of a statement.