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    • Join Date: Jan 2007
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    #1

    Writting style and structure of my paragraph

    Hello friends,

    For my english writting class I am trying to write a paragraph that can express a logical structure for the reader.
    If you have comments about my paragraph writting style or some advises, please give me a hand!! I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT GRAMMAR I WOULD LIKE TO GET A HELP ABOUT THE WRITTING STYLE, ARE MORE SENTENCES NEEDED, A BETTER INTRODUCTION OR THE BODY,ETC

    Turkey is located in a region that is shaken by severe earthquakes, which ocurred almost every year. The central Anatolian Fault Line is one of the most active fault zones in the world, lying along the northern part of the country, from southeast to the northwest. The reason that these severe earthquakes causes a lot of damage and death is not only the nature of the fault zone, but also that there are many cities and highways settled on it, an unfortunate consequence of the ignorance of the poor regional planning of the country. There is no way that cities can't be affected from severe shakings each year. The most serious damage, for example ocurred in August 1999,causing approximately 20,000 deaths and millions of dollars in physical damage in three cities. In recent years, some early warning systems have been developed warn the citizens of any upcoming shakings. Although these may only provide warnings as short as 10 seconds before the shakings, if there is a well-planned rescue organization, it may help to at least decrease, the death rates from these earthquakes.
    Last edited by yrmacita; 21-May-2008 at 15:30. Reason: I edited because I wanna make sure the purpose of my posting


    • Join Date: Feb 2008
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    #2

    Smile Re: Writting style and structure of my paragraph

    If you'd permit me, I will give you my version of your paragraph. Hope this helps.

    Almost every year, Turkey is shaken by severe earthquakes. The central Anatolian Fault Line, lying diagonally along the northern part of the country, is one of the most active in the world. These earthquakes cause a lot of death and destruction not just because of their severity but also because many cities and highways have been built over it: an unfortunate consequence of ignorant regional planning. In August 1999, 20,000 people lost their lives and millions of dollars of damage was caused by one of the worst quakes in history. In recent years, some early warning systems have been developed but only to provide 10 seconds of warning before the quake. If there was an well-organized rescue plan in place it may help to at least lower the death toll caused by these earthquakes.


    • Join Date: Jan 2007
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    #3

    Re: Writting style and structure of my paragraph

    thank you teacher,

    I will correct those mistakes.

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