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    • Join Date: May 2008
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    #1

    Smile A poem of mine-- To best-lover

    You're my sun
    You're my moon
    You're the star I can see

    You're my baby
    You're my honey
    You're the lady I will marry

    Baby, baby, I beg you
    Never go away
    Never give up

    Honey, honey, I love you
    Never change
    Never regret

    To you- my best-lover
    I love you




    I don't know the word(the girl who you love best), so I use "best-lover", please teach me a better one and point the faults of this little poem, thank you.

  1. Soup's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: A poem of mine-- To best-lover

    1. You're the star I can see
    <3 beats here>

    2. You're the lady I will marry
    <4 beats here> Try, I will wed

    3. What about? To you--my one and only


  2. RonBee's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: A poem of mine-- To best-lover

    Quote Originally Posted by Hix View Post
    To you- my best-lover
    I love you



    Perhaps:
    You are my everything, and I love you with all my heart.
    Don't be shy about rewriting it. You might want to do that several times.


  3. philadelphia's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: A poem of mine-- To best-lover

    My only one / My last one... Too

    You drive me crazy / I'm crazy about you.

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