Results 1 to 4 of 4

    • Join Date: May 2008
    • Posts: 1
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #1

    Please correct my essay

    Hi,
    I'm student and learning English now. Please correct my essay as below.

    The happiest day in my life is I graduated from college. The day I started to think about my carrier in the future and how I was going to achieve good things in my life.

    First of all, I graduated from my college in 1997. I started to think to make a good CV that will make me attractive and interesting. However, I had applied for the programmer position at software-house Company. I got an interview and performed well. They told me to wait for another call in few days to get the results.

    Secondly, I passed the interview and had found my employment within 3 months after graduation. At the first day as new employee, I got nervous. However, I feel more comfortable in my role after 1 week. Because of the new role was programmer, it makes me to start to learn about programming language and learn how to build a good logics to make a good programs.

    Finally, I have a new role as an IT Professional. Because of my new role, I have an opportunity to get a job in Australia and working as IT technical consultant in Consulting Company now.

  1. Soup's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Canada
      • Current Location:
      • China

    • Join Date: Sep 2007
    • Posts: 5,892
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #2

    Re: Please correct my essay

    Graduating from college was the happiest day of my life. It was the day I started thinking about my future plans, and how I was going to achieve good things in my life.

    After graduating from college in 1997, I worked on my CV to make my education and experience sound attractive and interesting. I applied for a programmer position at a software company, got an interview, and felt that I did well. They told me they would get back to me in a few days with the results, which they did. I passed the interview! I had found employment within 3 months after graduation.


  2. RonBee's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Feb 2003
    • Posts: 16,570
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #3

    Re: Please correct my essay

    Quote Originally Posted by handylai View Post
    Hi,


    The happiest day in my life is I graduated from college. The day I started to think about my carrier in the future and how I was going to achieve good things in my life.
    The happiest day in my life was the day I graduated from college. That day I started to think about my future career and how I was going to achieve good things in my life.


  3. RonBee's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Feb 2003
    • Posts: 16,570
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #4

    Re: Please correct my essay

    The word logic is not a count noun. Try something else.


Similar Threads

  1. Please correct me with the essay
    By belly_ttt in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 04-Jan-2008, 20:21
  2. environmental essay for CPE, please correct
    By Greekgirl in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 06-Dec-2007, 04:19
  3. Another IELTS essay, could you please correct?
    By mesh2005 in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 16-Aug-2007, 07:50
  4. Please correct my essay!
    By mariadallas in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 10-Jul-2006, 10:05
  5. Would you correct this new essay?
    By aleycris in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 29-Oct-2003, 17:41

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •