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  1. #1
    thedaffodils's Avatar
    thedaffodils is offline Key Member
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    Default Murder in the Park

    Hi! Would you please proofread this story at your convenience? It is just a translation exercise basically. Thanks in advance!


    Tom was a detective plays fan. He always had a great interest in discerning who the murderer was by each word, each fishy plot.

    One day, he went to cinema for a play named Murder in the Park. The scene started as soon as a waiter ushered him to his seat.

    The waiter asked, " Are you satisfied with your position, Sir?"

    Tom nodded, " Yep, thank you!"

    Th wait continued, "Can I take your hat to the cloakroom?"

    " No, thanks!" Tom responded. And then he said to himself, " The guy might go at once."

    But the waiter kept asking, " Would you like a playbill?"

    Tom said impatiently, " Nope!'

    The waiter furthered, " Or a telescope?"

    Tom fumed and turned it down again. The waiter kept dogging whether Tom would like chocolate cookie or a bottle of champagne. The plot turned to the climax.

    Tom flared up, " I want nothing. Get lost!"

    The waiter finally figured out he couldn't get a tip from Tom so he decided to teach Tom a lesson. He pointed out towards the stage and whispered spitefully near Tom's ear, "The murderer is just the gardener!"
    Last edited by thedaffodils; 30-May-2008 at 06:45.

  2. #2
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Default Re: Murder in the Park

    Quote Originally Posted by thedaffodils View Post
    Hi! Would you please proofread this story at your convenience? It is just a translation exercise basically. Thanks in advance!


    Tom was a detective plays fan a great fan of detective stories/films/plays. He always had a great interest in discerning identifying who the murderer was by each word, each fishy plot.

    One day, he went to the theatre to see a play called Murder in the Park. The play started as soon as a waiter ushered him the usher showed him to his seat.

    The usher asked, " Are you satisfied with your position, Sir?" "Is this seat ok for you, sir?"

    Tom nodded, " Yep, thank you!"

    Th usher continued, "Can I take your hat to the cloakroom?"

    " No, thanks!" Tom responded. And then he said to himself, " The guy might go soon."

    But the usher asked , " Would you like a playbill?"

    Tom said impatiently, " Nope!'

    The waiter furthered went on, " Or opera glasses?"

    Tom fumed and turned them down. The usher kept offering Tom things like chocolates or a bottle of champagne. The plot turned to the climax. The play was coming to the climax.

    Tom flared up, " I want nothing. Get lost!"

    The usher finally figured out he couldn't get a tip from Tom so he decided to teach him a lesson. He pointed out towards the stage and whispered spitefully near into Tom's ear, "The murderer is just the gardener!"The gardener did it!
    You see a film in a cinema and a play in a theatre.

    The person who shows you to your seat in either is an usher.

  3. #3
    thedaffodils's Avatar
    thedaffodils is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: Murder in the Park

    Hi Anglika,

    Thank you very much for taking time to proofread it. You are a big help.




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