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    #1

    First CAE preparation essay

    Hi everyone! It's the first time for me posting on this forum. I'm from Italy and my goal would be to take the CAE. I thus need to improve my English level and exercise for the exam.
    This is my first writing task...thank to anyone who would read it (and correct it/give me suggestions).
    Thanks a lot
    all the best!

    CAE Writing Task - Essay
    Your class has taken part in a seminar on whether the education system does enough to help young people to find jobs which fit their abilities and interests. You have made the notes below:
    METHODS SCHOOLS AND UNIVERSITIES USE TO HELP STUDENTS FIND SUITABLE JOBS
    · Providing courses and qualifications
    · Work experience programmes
    · Careers advice
    Write an essay discussing two of the methods in your notes. You should explain which method is more effective giving reasons in support of your answer. 220-260 words in an appropriate style.
    ::::::::::

    As of today in Italy the unemployment rate is rather high: reaching 40% in Southern regions. Still, we notice that in some specific sectors and for certains jobs there is a chronical lack of personnel. This means that there is a gap between demand and supply. A good education, some professional experience and careers advices can surely help fill this gap, thus ensuring full employment.

    First and foremost, I think that good careers advices are essential to help young people. A good mentor could explain alumnis what to study by first taking into account the market needs. For example, why tell someone to follow his or her passion and study literature if there’s no funding for literary research? It would be much better to address them to something related to literature but more usable on the job market.

    Education is certainly important because it allows to develop critical thinking. On the other side, though, without any practical experience it is almost impossible to find a job. Italian universities seem to not fully understand the importance of internships, yet. Students should be required to complete their course of study with a working experience, be it in a lead firm or in the universities’ library: it should be mandatory.

    In the view of the above arguments, I would argue that the best way to help young people find a suitable job is to give them the right careers advice. School and university tutors should be well trained professionals fully aware of their fundamental role. Furthermore, school and university studies should not be considered as complete without a solid working experience.

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    #2

    Re: First CAE preparation essay

    Quote Originally Posted by Sudsette View Post
    Hi everyone! It's the first time for me posting on this forum. I'm from Italy, and my goal would be is to take the CAE. I, thus, need to improve my English level and exercise practise for the exam.

    This is my first writing task. My thanks to anyone who would read it (and correct it/give me suggestions).
    Thanks a lot and all the best!

    CAE Writing Task - Essay
    Your class has taken part in a seminar on whether the education system does enough to help young people to find jobs which fit their abilities and interests. You have made the notes below:
    METHODS SCHOOLS AND UNIVERSITIES USE TO HELP STUDENTS FIND SUITABLE JOBS
    · Providing courses and qualifications
    · Work experience programmes
    · Careers advice
    Write an essay discussing two of the methods in your notes. You should explain which method is more effective giving reasons in support of your answer. 220-260 words in an appropriate style.
    ::::::::::
    Quote Originally Posted by Sudsette View Post
    As of today in Italy the unemployment rate is rather high: reaching 40% in Southern regions. Still, we notice that in some specific sectors and for certains jobs there is a chronical lack of personnel. This means that there is a gap between demand and supply. A good education, some professional experience and careers advices can surely help fill this gap, thus ensuring full employment.
    I see two issues with your introduction:
    1- Your start is off topic.
    You should introduce the topic to the reader directly. In your case, you can write, e.g., "Going to school or university has many benefits including improved career prospects."
    Then you write a sentence or two elaborating on the opening sentence, e.g., "Education can help students find jobs in several ways."

    2- You were asked to pick two methods, but you mentioned three in your introduction.
    Say, e.g., "This essay will discuss two of the methods by which school or university education helps students to find suitable employment, viz., career advice and providing formal qualifications."

    Quote Originally Posted by Sudsette View Post
    First and foremost, I think that good career advice are is essential to in helping young people decide which profession or trade to choose. A good mentor could explain alumnis to students what to study by first taking into account the market needs. For example, why tell someone to follow his or her passion and study literature if there’s no funding for literary research? It would be much better to address point them to something related to literature but more usable on the also sought after in the job market.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sudsette View Post
    Education is certainly important because it allows to develop critical thinking. On the other side, though, without any practical experience it is almost impossible to find a job. Italian universities seem to not fully understand the importance of internships, yet. Students should be required to complete their course of study with a working experience, be it in a lead firm or in the universities’ library: it should be mandatory.
    Your second body paragraph is off topic, I'm afraid. It is outside the scope of the "methods" in the essay question above.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sudsette View Post
    In the view of the above arguments, I would argue that the best way to help young people find a suitable job is to give them the right career advice. School and university tutors should be well-trained professionals, fully aware of their fundamental role. Furthermore, Nevertheless, school and university studies should not be considered as complete without a solid working experience.

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