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  1. #1
    shanghailuv is offline Newbie
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    Default Please help find grammatical errors in my essay

    I am sorry for asking for help around such a lengthy essay, but I would really appreciate if you could give me a few minutes to skim through my essay to find grammatical and other problems. I am going to sit in an IELTS soon, so, I am practicing with my writing skill as it is the weakest part of mine. Topic is in bold below and the essay itself follows it.


    According to a recent study, the more time people use the Internet, the less time they spend with real human beings. Some people say that instead of seeing the Internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities world- wide, we should be concerned about the effect this is having on social interaction.

    How far do you agree with this opinion?

    Internet technology is one of the most advanced technologies developed and achieved by human being so far. Despite being the most advanced, its impact on our society is debatable.


    Present society relies on internet more than ever and this trend does not bode well for our future society. Obviously, it is widely realized that how the people around us have already trapped in a small social network because of their addictive dependency on internet. As a result of it, the interaction between us has dramatically reduced to the minimum level ever. Furthermore, because of this very reason, people have developed various kinds of health problems. For example, some psychological disorders are caused by loneliness.

    However, on the other hand, internet has brought about a revolution in our lives. It not only has made possible to connect people from every corner of this world but let them communicate real time and faster. Video conference technology is a case in point. Furthermore, internet has created a common platform for us where we can share our thoughts, cultures, developments and others, and consequently, such a healthy flow of information has brought all of us together even closer than ever. For example, there are many discussion forums on the internet available helping us in understanding diversity of this world.

    In conclusion, the internet technology has expanded our reach beyond our thoughts with easy access to people anywhere in this world, but, at the same time, introduced a trend of segregated society. Nevertheless, I believe, the internet technology brings us benefits far more than harms.

  2. #2
    Rover_KE is offline Moderator
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    Default

    As the question capitalises 'Internet', you should do so, too, though it's not normally necessary.

    Quote Originally Posted by shanghailuv View Post


    According to a recent study, the more time people use the Internet, the less time they spend with real human beings. Some people say that instead of seeing the Internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities world- wide, we should be concerned about the effect this is having on social interaction.

    How far do you agree with this opinion?

    Internet technology is one of the most advanced technologies developed and achieved by human being so far. Despite being the most advanced, its impact on our society is debatable.

    Present-day society relies on the Internet more than ever and this trend does not bode well for our future society. Obviously, it is widely realized that how the people around us have already been trapped in a small social network because of their addictive dependency on the Internet. As a result of it, the interaction between us has dramatically reduced to the lowest level ever. Furthermore, because of this very reason, people have developed various kinds of health problems. For example, some psychological disorders are caused by loneliness.

    However, on the other hand, the Internet has brought about a revolution in our lives. It not only has made it possible to connect people from every corner of this world but it lets them communicate in real time and faster. Video conference technology is a case in point. Furthermore, the Internet has created a common platform for us where we can share our thoughts, cultures, developments and others things, and consequently, such a healthy flow of information has brought all of us together even closer together than ever. For example, there are many discussion forums available on the Internet available helping us in understanding the diversity of this world.

    In conclusion, the Internet technology has expanded our reach beyond our thoughts and is easily accessed by people anywhere in this world, but, at the same time, it has introduced a trend of segregated society. Nevertheless, I believe the Internet technology brings us benefits far more benefits than disadvantages.

  3. #3
    shanghailuv is offline Newbie
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    Default

    Thank you so much, Rover.

    "It not only has made it possible to connect people from every corner of this world but it lets them communicate in real time and faster."

    My question is around the second part of the above sentence- "...but it lets them communicate in real time and faster.". The way I structured the sentence is the auxiliary verb "has" in the first part of the sentence "It not only has made" also becomes auxiliary verb for the verb "let" in second part of sentence. In other words, I could write it as- "It not only has made it possible but it has let them communicate..."

    Please help if it makes sense. Really appreciate your help.

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