I would be extremely grateful if a teacher took the time to correct my essay. I am preparing for my IELTS academic module at the moment.
Essay Title: Some people think that money spent on space exploration is a waste and could be better used to fund other urgent problems in society. To what extent do you agree?:
Space exploration and travel has been one of mankind's greatest marvels. What seemed impossible many years before has now been conquered with such ease. Still, many scientists yearn to seek about the other mysteries and uncharted areas in space hence, they are strongly in support for more government funding for space exploration and research. However, some believe that there are fare more pressing issues which must be dealt with first. I am in part accordance with the latter view.
Considering the opinions which many scholars and scientists hold, space exploration may have it's benefits. If more resources were made available, this would open up many opportunities and would allow humans to study about space in greater detail. For instance, we would be able to find out about other planets and solar systems in space; something which may prove beneficial for us in the distant future. Furthermore, this would also enable study about the Earths surrounding environment in space and whether there are any imminent threats from an asteroid or other dangers. Collecting such data would prove to be extremely valuable to humans on the whole.
Nevertheless, over recent years and months, there has been a drastic rise in issues of worrying concern. Terrorism is growing in many parts of the world to become a global menace. Other problems that have also flared up have been in the areas of crime, healthcare, unemployment and education. Therefore, some people believe that the government should direct their strategies and spending towards these problems first before considering other priorities because the public should be given the first and foremost importance.
To conclude, I partly agree that space exploration and research will yield many advantages however, I feel that this will not happen in the near future. We should focus on what are all the current obstacles which face in society today and governments should concentrate their efforts to tackle such issues.
Thanks a lot teechar 😎👍
I always find it easier, in such short essays, to take a clear-cut position rather than to partly agree with one side or the other.
Oh ok! From previous IELTS answers that I've seen, some people have partially agreed or disagreed with their essays so, I thought I could apply the same