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Thread: word order

  1. #1
    ohmyrichard is offline Member
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    Default word order

    Would you please tell me which of the following two sentences is better? And is there any even better revision(s)?
    The loans can help students whose parents are migrant workers out of poverty effectively.
    The loans can effectively help out of poverty students whose parents are migrant workers.
    Thanks
    Richard

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    Default Re: word order

    The loans can effectively assist those students in need whose parents are migrant workers.

    Just how much money is being given that it lifts these students 'out of poverty'? The loans are to assist with fees, charges, expenses that they can't cover because of their poverty - it does not address the issue of poverty per se so that they now have the standard of living of 'normal' income people.

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    ohmyrichard is offline Member
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    Default Re: word order

    Quote Originally Posted by David L. View Post
    The loans can effectively assist those students in need whose parents are migrant workers.

    Just how much money is being given that it lifts these students 'out of poverty'? The loans are to assist with fees, charges, expenses that they can't cover because of their poverty - it does not address the issue of poverty per se so that they now have the standard of living of 'normal' income people.
    Thanks,David. These two sentences are taken from an English writing coursebook. The compiler claims that the second version--- The loans can effectively help out of poverty those students whose parents are migrant workers--- is much better than the other, while I find its structure still awkard. That is why I wrote a post here. Thank again.
    Richard

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    ohmyrichard is offline Member
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    Thumbs up Re: word order

    Quote Originally Posted by David L. View Post
    The loans can effectively assist those students in need whose parents are migrant workers.

    Just how much money is being given that it lifts these students 'out of poverty'? The loans are to assist with fees, charges, expenses that they can't cover because of their poverty - it does not address the issue of poverty per se so that they now have the standard of living of 'normal' income people.
    If we only focus on the structure of the sentence, what do you think of the wording of "help out of poverty"? I may lack that linguistic intuition, but it seems to me that it is still awkard. What do you think? Does placing "out of poverty" before "students whose parents are migrant workers" really make the sentence structurally better?
    Thanks.
    Richard

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