Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11
  1. #1
    jctgf is offline Key Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Portuguese
      • Home Country:
      • Tuvalu
      • Current Location:
      • Tuvalu
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    1,860
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default please correct this text.


    "My plan is to leave the luggage in a locker at the airport and go to see the apartment by bus.

    If I like it, Id make the deal immediately, paying the rent for then first month right away.

    Then, with the key of the apartment in hands Id go back to the airport in order to pick up my luggage and take it to my new address by taxi."

    please, is this text OK?
    Thanks.

  2. #2
    Soup's Avatar
    Soup is offline VIP Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Canada
      • Current Location:
      • China
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    5,892
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: please correct this text.

    My plan is to leave the luggage in a locker at the airport and then to go by bus to see the apartment.

    If I like it, I'll sign (the rental agreement) and pay (for) the first month's rent then and there.

    With the apartment key in hand, I'll go back to the airport, pick up my luggage and take a taxi to the new apartment.

  3. #3
    jctgf is offline Key Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Portuguese
      • Home Country:
      • Tuvalu
      • Current Location:
      • Tuvalu
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    1,860
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: please correct this text.

    Quote Originally Posted by Soup View Post
    My plan is to leave the luggage in a locker at the airport and then to go by bus to see the apartment.

    If I like it, I'll sign (the rental agreement) and pay (for) the first month's rent then and there.

    With the apartment key in hand, I'll go back to the airport, pick up my luggage and take a taxi to the new apartment.
    thanks!
    sounds better!
    as to ''make a deal", is it bad English?
    thanks.

  4. #4
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    19,448
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: please correct this text.

    Quote Originally Posted by jctgf View Post
    thanks!
    sounds better!
    as to ''make a deal", is it bad English?
    thanks.
    Not "bad English", but not really used in this context. See your other thread for more.

  5. #5
    jctgf is offline Key Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Portuguese
      • Home Country:
      • Tuvalu
      • Current Location:
      • Tuvalu
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    1,860
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: please correct this text.

    Quote Originally Posted by Anglika View Post
    Not "bad English", but not really used in this context. See your other thread for more.
    thanks.
    in this example, could I say "Ok, Sir, let's make business!".
    thanks.

  6. #6
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    19,448
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: please correct this text.

    Quote Originally Posted by jctgf View Post
    thanks.
    in this example, could I say "Ok, Sir, let's make business!".
    thanks.

    "let's do business" - but it's probably not the best thing to say to a potential landlord. It's a bit informal unless you know the person quite well.

  7. #7
    jctgf is offline Key Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Portuguese
      • Home Country:
      • Tuvalu
      • Current Location:
      • Tuvalu
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    1,860
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: please correct this text.

    Quote Originally Posted by Anglika View Post
    "let's do business" - but it's probably not the best thing to say to a potential landlord. It's a bit informal unless you know the person quite well.
    hi,
    could I say "Ok, Sir, I would like to rent your apartment." ?
    thanks.

  8. #8
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    19,448
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: please correct this text.

    Quote Originally Posted by jctgf View Post
    hi,
    could I say "Ok, Sir, I would like to rent your apartment." ?
    thanks.
    Yes - perfect

  9. #9
    tedtmc is offline Key Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Interested in Language
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • Malaysia
      • Current Location:
      • Malaysia
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    2,130
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: please correct this text.

    If I like it, I'll sign (the rental agreement) and pay (for) the first month's rent then and there.
    Normally, you don't get to sign the tenancy agreement on the spot. An earnest money equivalent to a month's rent is paid to confirm acceptance of the deal.

    How about to 'close the deal'?

  10. #10
    jctgf is offline Key Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Portuguese
      • Home Country:
      • Tuvalu
      • Current Location:
      • Tuvalu
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    1,860
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: please correct this text.

    Hi,
    I have a complementary question please: if I decide to rent the apartment and pay immediately the monthly fee, how should I ask for the receipt?
    Thanks.

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Please correct my text
    By Zoe2008 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 18-Jun-2008, 21:24
  2. please correct the following text
    By sgurumani@gmail.com in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 18-Apr-2008, 20:15
  3. please correct my text
    By Zoe2008 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 10-Apr-2008, 03:13
  4. please correct my text
    By jctgf in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 08-Apr-2008, 22:54

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •