Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1
    changeling is offline Newbie
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Interested in Language
      • Native Language:
      • Russian
      • Home Country:
      • Russian Federation
      • Current Location:
      • Russian Federation
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    24
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default please, check some sentences

    Hi everybody!

    I’m translating the article about pork shashlik. Could you, please, check the following passages? Does it sound good? Do I need any improvement? I appreciate your help.

    If you want some special meat dish, try the tastiest pork shashlik. Studies surprisingly show that cholesterol content of pork meat isn't higher than that of beef. What's more, pork is a valuable source of high quality proteins that are vital to our health. Pork is so tender as it has little connective tissue.

    The top tip for delicious shashlik is marinade. To make lip-smacking pork shashlik, marinate meat in wine vinegar, sour crimson juice and lemon juice. This recipe includes mild and fragrant white pepper instead of black one. Grill is one of the tastiest ways to cook meat. And if you thread some vegetables onto the skewer, your shashlik will be even healthier.

    Thanks in advance

  2. #2
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    19,448
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: please, check some sentences

    Quote Originally Posted by changeling View Post
    Hi everybody!

    Iím translating the article about pork shashlik. Could you, please, check the following passages? Does it sound good? Do I need any improvement? I appreciate your help.

    If you want some special meat dish, try the tastiest pork shashlik. Studies surprisingly show that cholesterol content of pork meat isn't higher than that of beef. What's more, pork is a valuable source of high quality proteins that are vital to our health. Pork is so tender as it has little connective tissue.

    The top tip for delicious shashlik is marinade. To make lip-smacking pork shashlik, marinate meat in wine vinegar, sour crimson juice [what is this? We don't have anything by this name] and lemon juice. This recipe includes mild and fragrant white pepper instead of stronger black pepper. Grilling is one of the tastiest ways to cook meat. And if you thread some vegetables onto the skewer, your shashlik will be even healthier.

    Thanks in advance
    .

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    16
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: please, check some sentences

    Quote Originally Posted by changeling View Post

    If you want some a special meat dish, try the tastiest tasteful or delicious pork shashlik. Studies surprisingly show that cholesterol content of pork meat isn't higher than that of beef. What's more, pork is a valuable source of high quality proteins that are vital to our body health. Pork is so tender soft or smooth as it has little connective tissues.

    The top tip for delicious shashlik is marinade. To make lip-smacking pork shashlik, marinate meat in wine vinegar, sour crimson juice and lemon juice. This recipe includes mild and fragrant white pepper instead of the black one. Grill is one of the tastiest good or nice ways to cook meat. And if you thread some vegetables onto the skewer, your shashlik will be even healthier.
    This is my correction,,,,
    I replaced the red-coloured words with the blue-bold ones


    UP4EVER

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    5,425
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: please, check some sentences

    If you want some special meat dish, :

    use 'some' if you then state a purpose e.g.
    If you want some special meat dish to impress the boss when he comes to dinner, then....
    Otherwise:

    If you want a special meat dish,

    try the tastiest pork shashlik. : This is incomplete. If this is the full sentence, then "try a tasty pork shashlik". If 'tastiest" then something like

    try the tastiest pork shashlik this side of heaven/you'll ever eat.

    or

    try a pork shashlik so tasty, vegetarians will be begging for more.


    Surprisingly, studies show that the cholesterol content of pork meat

    pork meat: 'meat' is a very basic word, bringing up images of hunks of meat on butcher's blocks and hooks, oozing blood. Not an image one likes when thinking about food: reminds us we are savages, tearing into meat just like any lion. 'pork' is sufficient!


    isn't higher than that of beef. : This sounds as if you need to do 'damage control'! and reassure people. That in fact, may be so! - but it can be phrased more positively:

    is no higher than beef/is the same as beef. What's more, pork is a valuable source of high quality protein : We say fats (because there are saturates, monosaturated and unsaturated fats). carbohydrates because for starters, there are sugars and starches. Yes, while meats are complete protein, in having all the amino acids, 'protein' itself is singular.

    that are vital to our health. Pork is so tender

    as it has little connective tissue. You take us out of the butcher's shop into some laboratory where we are dissecting the pork into muscle, connective tissue, and....I've lost my appetite. Try something else, even if it is a cliche:
    pork is so tender it melts in the mouth.

    The top tip for delicious shashlik is the marinade/to always use a marinade.
    To make lip-smacking pork shashlik, marinate the meat in wine vinegar,

    sour crimson juice :crimson to us is a colour of red, not a noun. You may need to explain this further if your recipe is to travel!

    and lemon juice. This recipe uses mild and fragrant white pepper instead of the black variety. Grilling is one of the ways to cook the tastiest meat.

    And if you thread some vegetables onto the skewer, your shashlik will be even healthier. : Most people in the world where I've been would think that a skewer of shashlik was incomplete, not real shashlik, without vegetables on the skewer. Perhaps you could compromise:

    And layered with pineapple, capsicum and onion on the skewer, your shashlik couldn't be healthier.
    Last edited by David L.; 29-Jun-2008 at 16:51.

  5. #5
    tzfujimino's Avatar
    tzfujimino is offline Key Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • Japanese
      • Home Country:
      • Japan
      • Current Location:
      • Japan
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    1,674
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: please, check some sentences

    Quote Originally Posted by David L. View Post
    pork meat: 'meat' is a very basic word, bringing up images of hunks of meat on butcher's blocks and hooks, oozing blood. Not an image one likes when thinking about food: reminds us we are savages, tearing into meat just like any lion. 'pork' is sufficient!


    isn't higher than that of beef. : This sounds as if you need to do 'damage control'! and reassure people. That in fact, may be so! - but it can be phrased more positively:

    is no higher than beef/is the same as beef. What's more, pork is a valuable source of high quality protein : We say fats (because there are saturates, monosaturated and unsaturated fats). carbohydrates because for starters, there are sugars and starches. Yes, while meats are complete protein, in having all the amino acids, 'protein' itself is singular.

    that are vital to our health. Pork is so tender

    as it has little connective tissue. You take us out of the butcher's shop into some laboratory where we are dissecting the pork into muscle, connective tissue, and....I've lost my appetite. Try something else, even if it is a cliche:
    pork is so tender it melts in the mouth.
    I've really enjoyed your post, David.
    I've learned a lot of things as well.
    Thank you very much for the detailed explanation.

Similar Threads

  1. Well, we should check out/up on every possibility.
    By angliholic in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 28-Oct-2007, 01:16
  2. Replies: 2
    Last Post: 30-Mar-2006, 06:27
  3. Please, Check my sentences.
    By lsujang in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 22-Feb-2006, 06:11
  4. Please, Check my sentences.
    By lsujang in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 02-Feb-2006, 04:48
  5. Check next sentences....
    By nautes20 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 26-Oct-2004, 08:41

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •