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  1. new2grammar's Avatar
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    #1

    creating suspense......Please help

    I want to create supense, hype around the jewellery brand saying something is coming for modern woman. Kindly suggest me if you could something better than the following 'A work of art, created by master craftsmen, especially for the woman of today'Thanks in advance


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
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    #2

    Re: creating suspense......Please help

    It looks ok to me. The second comma could be omitted.

  2. new2grammar's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
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      • Native Language:
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      • Home Country:
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    • Join Date: May 2008
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    #3

    Re: creating suspense......Please help

    Quote Originally Posted by Anglika View Post
    It looks ok to me. The second comma could be omitted.
    how about the following:Master craftsmen work in town, limited edition- 88 pieces only, for the woman of today.


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    #4

    Re: creating suspense......Please help

    Your original was much better. It catches the attention, says all that is needed, and is grammatically correct.

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