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Thread: Clear and fine?

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    #1

    Clear and fine?

    If the sentence below is not clear and fine, please improve it.

    The number of consenters, who stand for the last two points about the vehicles with low-tech parameters, are less than that of objectors.

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    #2
    Up! :D

  1. Casiopea's Avatar

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    #3

    Re: Clear and fine?

    Quote Originally Posted by NewHope
    If the sentence below is not clear and fine, please improve it.

    The number of consenters, who stand for the last two points about the vehicles with low-tech parameters, are less than that of objectors.
    I'm confused. :? Id on't get the 'who stand for the last two points about the....' part.

    What about?

    The number of people who consented is less than the number of people who objected.

    All the best, :D

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    #4
    Hi Casiopea,

    who stand for the last two points about the ... = who agreed the last two points about the ...

    "The last two points":
    If there are five point(view)s, then "the last two points" refers to "the fourth point and the fifth point".

    Have you got "vehicles with low-tech parameters".

    The sentence "The number of people who consented is less than the number of people who objected" is okay. But what they consented?

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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by NewHope
    The sentence "The number of people who consented is less than the number of people who objected" is okay. But what they consented?
    That's my question, too.
    I don't understand what they agreed to exactly.

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    #6
    Regarding "vehicles with low-tech parameters".

    Some machines are the products of high-tech, for example: a computer is a prodct of high-tech, so the computer has its high-tech parameters. Right?

    But a toy is just a low-tech product, so the toy has its low-tech parameters.

    Some vehicles are the products with low-tech parameters.

    Okay, now do you feel the original sentence is clear?

    ===>>>" The number of consenters, who stand for the last two points about the vehicles with low-tech parameters, are less than that of objectors. "

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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by NewHope
    "The number of consenters, who stand for the last two points about the vehicles with low-tech parameters, are less than that of objectors. "
    What about?

    The number of people who consented/agreed to the last two points on (i.e., regarding) vehicles with low-tech parameters is less than the number of people who objected/disagreed.

    All the best, :D

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    #8
    Good.

    But it seems a bit too long.

  4. Casiopea's Avatar

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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by NewHope
    Good.

    But it seems a bit too long.
    I have faith in you.

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