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    #1

    a letter of request (for a sponsor)

    Hello my teachers. Can you check this letter for me plz. It is a letter of request to a sponsor to have one of the sponsored events in their site.



    Dear Mr. Khalid Ali

    We would like to show our gratefulness and appreciation for QD sponsorship for summer activities 2008 for QSN
    We also like to inform you about the Ending Ceremony, in which we will honor all volunteers for summer activities; in addition to honoring all sponsors for the last six months including QD. Representatives of different sectors and organizations will also be invited to the ceremony.
    We are aiming to make this ceremony a social sitting event. This will create a strong relationship between your organization and our Alumni. Hence, we are formally requesting this ceremony to be at QD site.
    The ceremony will start at 5:00 PM and end at 8:00. We are also planning to have speakers and presentations in the ceremony; hence, we would like you to provide the ceremony with a projector, screen, microphones and wireless connection. We are targeting 100 guests.

    I would like to thank you again for all your support and would appreciate knowing your response by calling on 555555

    yours,
    Abdulla Hassan
    Last edited by Machboos; 22-Jul-2008 at 19:13.

  1. RonBee's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: a letter of request (for a sponsor)

    Say:
    We would like to show our gratitude and appreciation for Qatari Diar' sponsorship for summer activities 2008 for Qatari Student Network.


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    #3

    Re: a letter of request (for a sponsor)

    Thanks

    any other comments?


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    #4

    Re: a letter of request (for a sponsor)

    Which one is more formal and right in english:

    The ceremony will start at 5:00 PM and end at 8:00. We are also planning to have speakers and presentations in the ceremony; hence, we would like you to provide the ceremony with a projector, screen, microphones and wireless connection. We are targeting 100 guests.


    OR:


    The ceremony will start at 5:00 PM and end at 8:00. We are also planning to have speakers and presentations in the ceremony; hence, want to know the possibility of providing a projector, screen, microphones and wireless connection. We are targeting 100 guests.

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    #5

    Re: a letter of request (for a sponsor)

    Quote Originally Posted by Machboos View Post
    Which one is more formal and right in english:

    The ceremony will start at 5:00 PM and end at 8:00. We are also planning to have speakers and presentations in the ceremony; hence, we would like you to provide the ceremony with a projector, screen, microphones and wireless connection. We are targeting 100 guests.


    OR:


    The ceremony will start at 5:00 PM and end at 8:00. We are also planning to have speakers and presentations in the ceremony; hence, want to know the possibility of providing a projector, screen, microphones and wireless connection. We are targeting 100 guests.
    The second one is better, but it could be improved upon. Perhaps:
    The ceremony will start at 5:00 PM and end at 8:00 PM. We are also planning to have speakers and presentations in the ceremony. Therefore, we want to know if we can set up a projector, screen, microphones and wireless connection. We are expecting 100 guests.
    What do you think?

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    #6

    Re: a letter of request (for a sponsor)

    Or:
    The ceremony will start at 5:00 PM and end at 8:00 PM. We are also planning to have speakers and presentations in the ceremony. Therefore, we want to know if you can provide a projector, screen, microphones and wireless connection. We are expecting 100 guests.

  4. RonBee's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: a letter of request (for a sponsor)

    Quote Originally Posted by Machboos View Post


    Dear Mr. Khalid Ali

    We would like to show our gratefulness and appreciation for QD sponsorship for summer activities 2008 for QSN.
    We also like to inform you about the Ending Ceremony, in which we will honor all volunteers for summer activities; in addition to honoring all sponsors for the last six months including QD. Representatives of different sectors and organizations will also be invited to the ceremony.
    We are aiming to make this ceremony a social sitting event. This will create a strong relationship between your organization and our alumni. Hence, we are formally requesting this ceremony to be at QD site.
    Delete semicolon between activities and in.

    We're finished.


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    #8

    Re: a letter of request (for a sponsor)

    Quote Originally Posted by RonBee View Post
    The second one is better, but it could be improved upon. Perhaps:
    The ceremony will start at 5:00 PM and end at 8:00 PM. We are also planning to have speakers and presentations in the ceremony. Therefore, we want to know if we can set up a projector, screen, microphones and wireless connection. We are expecting 100 guests.
    What do you think?
    i think this is better, but does it imply that i want them to provide us with the equipment?

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    #9

    Re: a letter of request (for a sponsor)

    Quote Originally Posted by Machboos View Post
    I think this is better, but does it imply that I want them to provide us with the equipment?
    Didn't you see my alternative, thus:
    The ceremony will start at 5:00 PM and end at 8:00 PM. We are also planning to have speakers and presentations in the ceremony. Therefore, we want to know if you can provide a projector, screen, microphones and wireless connection. We are expecting 100 guests.

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