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  1. #1
    rafaelxx is offline Junior Member
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    Could you correct this text, please. Thank you.

    Dear Teacher,

    Could you correct this text please?
    "At last the building works started in two timings. On 29th August 2000 the new school-year of 2000/2001 started with a school-year opening ceremony. The pupils of Hajdúsámson could already study in the new building and soon could use the new gym.

    In this time the new library was handed over in the attic of the new school. And with this an opportunity opened to develop a pedagogic department and

    The new school library was handed over in the attic of the new school. With this an opportunity opened not only to accommodate the children's book, but also form a pedagogic department. The standard of the information technology became suitable for the modern education thanks to the classroom of computer studies and the library.
    Much to the delight of all of us the new gym was handed over on 5th October 2002. Then the assembly hall was handed over so our programmes standard became higher. Now we can organize deservedly all of our school tradition and celebrations.
    This assembly hall is also used at several events like school events, nursery school events, gym programmes, convivial occasions, exhibitions. This assembly hall was made real saloon by András Galánfi, wood-carver and Péter Mátl sculptor artist who made a huge adorned wood-carving, which symbolize the seven tribe of the conquering Hungarians. This assembly hall cost nearly 10 million forints, could be accomplished with the supporting agreement of Gábor Hamza the mayor, and the local representatives. So the result of all this we can see these huge singly 10 meters wide and 12 meters high carving decorations made of lime tree on the frontage of our assembly hall.

    Our pupils can go for a walk, take a break and some fresh air in our school yard between the lessons in the forenoons. They can have a rest and have a chat on the garden-seats. We run day-care centre in the afternoons these children also enjoy our nice and clean quadrangle. We also organize special programmes there much to the delight of all of us on the student council’s day.

    Our institution provides canteen food to nearly 600 children within day-care and canteen catering. New dining hall branch was built which is not as crowded as it was previously. Altogether 160 children can have their meal in this healthy and hygienic atmosphere at the same time. Besides it can be used at other special events, programmes and meetings.

    This new stately school is surrounded more and more beautiful environment. The previous park is a nice service area for parents as much as their children.
    It was necessary to form a playground for the day-care children and the afternoon activities. There is a concrete school yard inside and a grassy school yard outside with playground and wood toys, where the children can play."

    Thank you so much.
    rafael

  2. #2
    sarat_106 is offline Key Member
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      • English Teacher
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    Re: Could you correct this text, please. Thank you.

    I am not a professional teacher.

    "At last the building works started with (in) two timings. On 29th August 2000 the new school-year of 2000/2001 started with (a school-year) an opening ceremony. The pupils of Hajdúsámson could (already) study in the new building now and soon (could) going to use the new gym.

    (In this time the new library was handed over in the attic of the new school. And with this an opportunity opened to develop a pedagogic department and)

    The new school library was handed over in the attic of the new school. (With this an) This has opened new opportunity not only for (to )accommodation of children's book, but also (form) creation of a pedagogical department. The standard of the information technology became suitable for the modern education thanks to the classroom of computer studies and the library.
    Much to the delight of all of us, the new gym was handed over on 5th October 2002 followed by (Then) the assembly hall (was handed over). This will help (so) raising our programmes standard (became)to higher level. Now we can confidently organize (deservedly) all of our school tradition and celebrations.
    This assembly hall is also used
    to host (at several) variety of events connected with (like) school, nursery school, gym, convivial occasions, exhibitions. This assembly hall has been made a real (saloon?) salon by András Galánfi, wood-carver and Péter Mátl sculptor artist who has made a huge adorned wood-carving, which symbolizes the seven tribes of the conquering Hungarians. This assembly hall which costs nearly 10 million forints, could be accomplished with the (supporting agreement) willing support of Gábor Hamza the mayor, and the local representatives. So the result of all this (we can see these) is reflectedin the huge structure of (singly) 10 meters wide and 12 meters high having carving decorations made of lime tree on the frontage of our assembly hall.

    Our pupils can go for a walk, take a break and breath some fresh air in our school yard/compaound between the lessons in the forenoons. They can have rest (and have) or a chat on the garden-seats. We run day-care centre in the afternoons where these children also enjoy our nice and clean quadrangle. We also organize special programmes there much to the delight of all of us on the student council’s day.

    Our institution provides canteen food to nearly 600 children through (within) day-care and canteen catering service. A new dining hall extension (branch was) has been built which is not as crowded as it was previously. Altogether 160 children can have their meal in this healthy and hygienic atmosphere at (the same) a time. Besides it can be used for (at) other special events, programmes and meetings.

    This new stately school is surrounded with more and more beautiful environment. The previous park is a nice service/meeting area for parents as well (much) as their children. It was necessary to form/make a playground for the day-care children and the afternoon activities. (There is a) The concrete yard inside and a grassy yard outside the school with wooden toys provide playground , where the children can play."

    Delete words in brackets underlined. Alternative options are given where ever necessary to add meaning.

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