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Thread: please help.

  1. #1
    luciano35 is offline Newbie
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    please help.

    Once there was a little boy called Jack. His father was dead and he lived his mother. Jack was so reckless. One day he was going to school , a plant pot dropped near him and it was broken into small pieces.He bought a magazine. While reading it he was almost hit by a car.Then he got on a bus. While they wre going to school they were almost crash into astop sign. Finally he arrived the scool and went into his classroom. There were no people in the classroom. He locked the door and sat down his desk ans started to read his magazine. Suddenly the classroom burst into flames and he wasn’t aware of it. The principal of school telephoned the fire department. .In a moment firemen came.they were trying to put out the fire but he was lost in the magazine and he couldn’t hear them.

  2. #2
    luciano35 is offline Newbie
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    Re: please help.

    Is anybody there?

  3. #3
    susiedqq is offline Key Member
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    Re: please help.

    What kind of "help" do you want??

  4. #4
    Pizpireta is offline Newbie
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    Re: please help.

    I am not a teacher, only a humble learner!!


    quote=luciano35;326621]Once there was a little boy called Jack. His father was dead and he lived with his mother. That´s why Jack was so reckless. One day when/as he was going to school, a plant pot dropped near him and it was broken breaking into small pieces. USE CONECTORS. Later, he bought a magazine and while reading it he was almost hit by a car. Then he got on a bus and when he was going to school they were almost crashed into a stop sign. Finally he arrived at school and went into his classroom. There were no people in the classroom. He locked the door, sat down at his desk and started reading his magazine. Suddenly the classroom bursted into flames but he wasn’t aware of it. The principal of school called the fire department. In a moment the firemen came. They were trying to put out the fire but he was lost in the magazine and he didn´t notice them.[/quote]

    Hope it helps.
    One advise: try to use conectors to link the paragraphs. When telling a story they give fluency.

    :) Pizpireta

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